It represents a major loss of independence — the flip side of the independence we gain when we get our first drivers license and car.
My dad never let go of the idea of driving. In reality though, he started letting my mom drive him when he got sick. When he was sick enough to be spending his last year in a nursing home, he kept reminding my mom to renew his drivers license. Right up to the end, he never let go of the idea of driving. But it would have been irresponsible, to say the least, to let him continue to drive.
My mom drove until she was 96. 😱 Maybe we should have stopped her sooner. But she knew her limits and only drove around town — to church, the supermarket, nearby friends’ homes, etc. No highways and no night driving. But we finally had to convince her to give up driving completely. It was very hard on her to give up driving. She hated giving it up. We had to get tough. We had to ask her how she would feel if she hit a dog or a child because her vision or reflexes weren’t as good as they used to be. That was the argument that finally got her to hand over her car keys for good.
Your description of your father’s recent driving raises some big red flags for me. Missing huge signs. Driving down the wrong side of the road. You were scared while you were in the car with him driving. It sounds like maybe you should, at least, start preparing him. It’s inevitable. And very, very hard on them.
As for your sister asking to stay with you and then asking you to get a new mattress first….that is ridiculous. Now, if she had offered to pay for a new mattress for you completely, not half, that would be a different story. And it should be the size you want, the size that fits in your room comfortably. But she knows you’ve been unemployed for, what?, close to a year now? Asking you to make that purchase now, for her comfort and convenience — no. How many nights is she staying and how much would a hotel cost her?
