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And also same on the Southerner who was taught -- no, hammered into my head at a young age -- to say "Sir, Ma'am, Ms/Mrs, Mr." I feel like I'm being rude by not doing so.

The Walt Whitman quote "I contain multitudes" has helped me in thinking of someone as one person but having multitudes inside so they/them represents that.

ETA: I will absolutely respect everyone's pronouns and address them as they prefer. But in cases where I don't know, I find myself falling back into old habits of he or she.