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* marked SPOILER for mention of delicate underthings and female bodily functions

For those of you unfamiliar with the term "eyelash sweater", it simply means one of those sweaters with the short "hairs" sticking out all over.

As most of you know, a couple of the lovely ladies I work with like to give me their cast-off clothes after they clean out their closet(s). The other day, "M" (84 year old firecracker) gave me a black poncho sweater with white eyelash stripes on it (THIS exact one: ) But as with all of the clothes M has given me, it reeked of her perfume (which smells somehow like a 1980s Holiday Inn--an odd combination of cheap perfume, smoke and nostalgia) so I banished it to the garage, atop of the washing machine, until I had time to de-stink it. I told Dad I was just trying to air it out...he decided to be "helpful" by throwing it in the dryer with a load of wet laundry.

Eyelash. "Hair". EVERYWHERE.

Oh my Chuck (Supernatural reference). It looks like two dozen snow white kittens rolled around in the load of laundry. I've spent two hours, and went through a dozen sticky sheets of my lint roller, and so far, I've managed to clean off four pairs of socks, four pairs of panties and one sweatshirt. The lint roller only picks up maybe 30% of the hairs; I've been plucking them off by hand. I still have a long sleeved shirt and a pair of pajamas (long sleeved top and pants) to de-hair, not to mention the original culprit. One pair of leggings from the load were mostly spared due to being a smoother material...plus they're already a busy black and white pattern, so the hairs don't show up as easily. One pair of panties were spared because they're, ah, a silkier material (silk-adjacent), and the hairs didn't stick. And one pair of panties just got tossed. I don't want to say they were old but they were "period" panties, and I've been done with that monthly bleeding nonsense since the summer of 2019.

I'm off today...hadn't really decided what I was going to do with my afternoon but now it looks like I'll be working on removing a TON of eyelash hair from the rest of my freshly washed clothes <sob>.

ETA (the third time) - no eyelash hair on the long sleeved shirt--hallelujah!