Daily Updates

Port Charles Update for Wednesday, 17-Mar-1999

Well folks, enter if you DARE -- today's update is done by ME, Valerie, aka RamseyFan, and yes, it WAS a Chris day, because there is this law that states that I can *only* do updates on Chris days, just in case you were wondering! I've also recently petitioned for a new law that states that the following must ALSO apply to any episodes where the updates are done by me:

1. NO mention of the ‘magic dress'
2. NO K'Eve'in scenes
3. NO Flashbacks

And guess what? The law has apparently PASSED! Woo-hoo!

Okay, before we get started, since I didn't have *Monday's* update, I feel it necessary to mention that Chris was SHIRTLESS on Monday. This was a landmark moment, folks -- Chris hasn't been SHIRTLESS since May of 1997, and on Monday, he was SHIRTLESS! And he looked SO fine! Not that he always doesn't -- but this time he was looking fine while he was SHIRTLESS! Okay, drool session over. Now, on to today's update . . . . . . .

We open with Pinky and the Brain, Dumb and Dumber, Heckyl and Jeckyl -- whatever name you choose for this pair, and I probably don't need to say who it is! Courtney is whining about how she wants revenge on Chris for taking her to bed and then spying on her. ‘How dare he do the same thing to you that you're doing to him?' Frank says. Got THAT right, Frankie! They also talk about Joe and Karen's wedding, and Frank mentions how it's a good thing they fired Courtney as wedding planner, cause if something goes wrong, they can't blame HER. (heh, heh, heh . . . . )

At GH, Sebastian is getting dressed and ready to go. Okay, brief note to TIIC -- whenever there is a scene with an attractive man, and he is buttoning or unbuttoning his shirt, here's what you do -- you give us at least a GLIMPSE of said man's chest! It's totally realistic and acceptable, and a good way to sneak in a shirt-free day without arousing suspicion. Just a little helpful hint from one of the major proponents to make Fridays (and any other day, if necessary -- and trust me, there's ALWAYS a way to make it necessary) shirt-free on PC! Next time, get it right! Anyway, Ellen comes in to talk to him -- Sebby asks her out to dinner. And Ellen, instead of being an intelligent woman and saying "Well, thanks but I'm already in a serious, committed relationship and probably shouldn't do that", says "I'll see if I can work something out." Say WHAT???? The podding of Ellen Burgess is in full swing now, folks . . . . . .

Back at Chez Scanlon, Joe and Karen come over with St. Patricks day decorations. Okay, comment from the peanut gallery -- It was on St. Patricks day that Joe and Frank's father died in a drunk driving accident -- and these folks don't even MENTION that fact! Nope, they're partying like it's 1999! Well, okay, it IS 1999 -- but STILL! Anyway, I find this a bit odd and kind of rude. Oh well, those Scanlons are a weird bunch -- and we viewers don't remember such petty little details, we're too busy IRONING and such. Forget I mentioned it -- I'm sure Lynn Latham already has. Joe and Karen want to make the party a surprise engagement party for Mary and Victor. The they proceed to yak incessantly about their upcoming nuptials, and are becoming VERY nauseating and gooey and disgusting as they do so, as Frank points out by saying "It's getting pretty thick in here." Did I mention how much I LOVE Frankie! Karen tells Joe that Scott has agreed to pay for the wedding -- Joe says fine, but as long as it's not a big deal. Frank comes in with one of THE lines of the day: "Aw shucks, and I was gonna chip in out of my tip jar." We can always count on Frank for a laugh or two! I love this man!

At Chris' apartment (HOORAY! Chris is on! The show has NOW begun!), Courtney comes over and invites Chris to the Scanlon St. Paddy's Day party -- oooh, can't WAIT for the fireworks tomorrow as daggers shoot across the room from Chris to Joe, Joe to Chris, Chris to Frank, Courtney to Chris, Sigmund to Fred (hey, who says they can't come too -- ducks and ferrets like a good party, you know!) -- should be good! Chris accepts -- he never turns down a free meal, especially from a hot dish! LMAO! What a dog! That's okay -- he's Chris, I excuse the neandrathal commentary. He then brings up Courtney being in the house alone with Frank so much -- oh, if only you knew ALL the nasty details, Chris . . . . . BTW, have you gotten yourself checked out at a free clinic yet? You really should . . . . who knows what diseases Courtney has passed on to you. Courtney confesses that she was cut out of John's will -- the Kaneloses agreed to pay her cash under the table to get her to go away. She also says that she doesn't want Neil's values tarnished by money. LMAO! Oh, I'm sure they'll be tarnished in OTHER ways sooner or later -- like the first time Neil walks in on Courtney and whoever using the kitchen as their very own rec room. But I digress . . . . Courtney says she thought it was a smart move to accept their offer. I'm still not sure Chris is buying this -- he doesn't looked convinced. But he's playing along. Good boy -- now sit -- roll over -- take off your clothes -- oops, bad me, I'm letting my thoughts take over -- I know, I know, PG-13. I'll stop now.

Karen is in the Scanlon kitchen getting ready for the party, and Matt comes in. He can't stay for the party, but brought over some beer anyway. What a nice guy! Karen then begins to prattle on incessantly about wedding plans, and Matt really looks like he'd rather have a root canal than listen to this. Uh, Karen -- word of advice here. Matt is a GUY. They don't CARE what color the bridesmaids dresses are at a wedding, or what the decorations look like, or what type of cake you should have, or should you have a band or a deejay, etc., etc. -- why are you telling him this? Anyway, Matt chimes in that maybe they should elope. See, I TOLD you -- guy mentality. Don't bother them with details -- they wouldn't be that interested in the details of their OWN wedding, let alone somebody else's. But it was a cute scene, anyway. Frank comes downstairs with MORE St. Paddy's day decorations, and tells Joe to let Karen have a big wedding, cause that's what she wants. Somehow I don't think Frankie's motives are all that sincere . . . .

At GH, Eve and Ellen are talking. Eve says that Sebastian is a doll -- SEE, we've been talking about this in chat -- how to get Eve away from Kevin and Ellen away from Sebastian. It would be so EASY! Eve then yammers on about how Sebastian came to find Ellen and how romantic it is -- put a cork in it, Eve!

Ellen is sitting in the lobby and Matt comes by -- "We can have our own party" he says, since they both have to work and can't make the Scanlon party. Ellen tells Matt she can't -- she made plans with Sebastian. Oooh, Matt is NOT a happy camper about this -- not AT ALL! And I, for one, don't blame him one bit!

Back at Chris' place -- Courtney brings up that Chris' dad was a con man, and wants advice from him on what to do about this cash she got from the Kaneloses. "Are we discussing laundered money?" Chris asks. "Is that the best way to handle it?" Courtney asks in return. "Maybe -- but it's illegal." Chris says. "So." Courtney replies. This is SUCH an amusing thing to watch as these two try to scam and con each other without letting the other one know that they know that the other is also scamming and conning. I LOVE it! And, naturally, my Chris will outsmart her no matter what -- Chris could be in a coma and still outsmart Courtney!

Back at Chez Scanlon -- Joe tells Karen that he's okay with a big wedding, as Frank watches and gives one of his sneaky little "I'm up to something" looks . . . . . . .

That's it for today's show! The opinions expressed in this update, even though they are RIGHT, are not necessarily those of PCO -- they are mine and mine alone and are all in good fun. If you have any problem with them, first of all, remind yourself that it's just a TV show! And if that doesn't work -- keep those hate emails coming, I DO print them out and frame them! See you next time!

Valerie