Daily Updates

Port Charles Update for Wednesday, 24-Mar-1999

Hello everyone. Welcome to Political Science 101. Today we are going to learn the art of how to not answer a question without actually lying. This practice is called the non-denial denial. For homework tonight, I’d like the class to watch any of the press conferences our President has conducted in the last 18 months. What Mark McGwire is to the homerun, politicians are to the art of lying without lying.

Let me cite some examples closer to home. Take the sleepy northern New York town of Port Charles. Under normal circumstance most of these people are honest citizens. But lately there has been a higher power pulling the strings of our examples (although I hear that this puppet master is now moving on to other things).

These folks, under the power of their master – for conversation sake, lets refer to the puppeteer as LML – have gotten so good at denial, that they have now entered that state to not only the outside world, but in their own minds as well. And this is what it takes too truly perfect the art.

As we proceed, all names will be changed to protect the innocent.

Our first example is Pin. He is in denial about his mid-life crisis. This is obvious by his disregard of his true love and the affair he is now conducting. It is obvious that Pin is working way to hard at proving this has been a wise decision. Obviously it has not. On the other side is, we’ll call her About Me, who is unable to face up to her father complex. She has continually associated herself romantically with men we all see as father figures. Yet About Me can not see the parallel. They are discussing Pin’s former love’s problems. Seems as if she has been accused of using child labor to produce a clothing line. To which end there are big headlines in the newspaper, and stories on the TV news.

Woman of Many Last Names (from the Native American for one who marries to often) is watching this very news story. She too has a denial problem. She believes that she has created a magic dress. See my point, LML has completely deluded these people. Her current and former lover, Apple, is outraged, they vow to fight this untrue story.

PodE is at the hospital. She approaches her boyfriend Eric with a gift. This is a guilt gift. She has done something wrong which although she feels sorry for she will not admit. Eric too is in denial about his true identity but we will save his story for another day. PodE denies that this is a guilt gift. When asked about the situation that brought on this guilt, PodE is dismissive and tries to avoid the conversation. This is usually a very effective defense against coming clean and it does seem to work, at least temporarily.

Pin attempts to make contact with WMLN. About Me is visibly upset by this. WMLN and Apple debate whether or not to answer the phone. After realizing our first truth of the day WMLN breaks free of her strings momentarily and knows she would never back down from a fight. Her face brightens when she recognizes the voice on the other line (did I mention that she is also in denial about her love for Pin). They discuss the issue of the dress and Pin states his firm belief that WMLN would never commit such an act.

About Me avoids the issue of whether the phone call has upset her. And might I add that she is very adroit at this fine art. For years she hid a secret about her past life, but alas that too is a story for another day.

A reporter arrives to listen to Apple and WMLN’s side of the story. They know that a business associate named Eel has set them up. About Me has info that could prove this to be true, but is reluctant to reveal this, as it would lead to more info about that past life.

Eric confronts PodE to try and guilt her into telling the truth. This to is a very effective way at getting an answer. PodE responds to the flattery, but the look on her face says it all. She has feelings for another man.

The reporter is unable to print the true story without facts (note to class: at this point you must have realized that my story is fiction. Since when do reporters wait for facts) but is willing to wait for them because this is what a reporter lives for, to expose the truth. WMLN has a plan.

About Me continues to deny her vast knowledge of the Eel. Pin tries to convince her using various psychological ploys. About Me is not ready to reveal the truth despite the fact that this information could help others (After all, her name is About Me).

WMLN plans to go on TV to tell her side. Apple is with her. This seems like a good plan. Once the camera’s role they deny all knowledge of the manufacturing of the dress and accuse the Eel of setting them up. WMLN has been in charge of raising money for children for the local hospital for years. She tells the reporter she could never have used child labor.

About Me and Eric discuss PodE’s hidden story. This lasts for about 30 seconds until About Me finds a way to turn the conversation on to herself.

PodE seeks advice from Pin. She denies that she came to see him for advice. But then the truth starts to leak out. She does have feelings for another man. Should she tell Eric? Pin says no (he rationalizes that she needs time to decide for herself what she wants. Hmmm, could he be talking about, oh I don’t know, HIMSELF?). PodE says she is not sure.

Well class, what have we learned today? We’ve learned the art of denial. We’ve learned how to try to get someone to admit the truth. We’ve learned that if you do admit the truth never do it to the one you are actually lying to. And never count on reporters. If you can master all these skills you are on your way to being a first class politician. Good luck.