Daily Updates

Port Charles Update for Thursday, 25-Mar-1999

Hello I am Buzz the fly on the wall reporter and I will be your guide today on the grand adventure known as Port Charles. And boy was I busy today flying around and trying to catch all the action.

We started this very special episode off with my man Frankie sitting on the infamous couch (for various reasons one of my very favorite playgrounds) watching apparently the only female reporter in Port Charles once again hash the Lucy child labor scandal. He mutes the sound when Karen (oh my my my - makes me one happy fly) appears at the door and Frankie is very happy to see her (practically panting). Karen wants to find a picture of the ring (geez Karen I think I saw a 8x10 of it hanging on the wall). And Frankie is only to happy to show her his paintings -er - photos. Karen sees herself on tv - the infomercial (and yes I have started a petition to ban these from ever darkening our tv again - care to sign?) and for some unfathomable reason turns the sound up to her another sound bite concerning the scandal. And to add insult to injury (and really ruffling my feathers - er - wings) she has a FLASHBACK to YESTERDAY's episode and the red panties fight - gee something I was dying to see again. Karen goes all unhappy and Frankie is all worried about Kary-ums and this is so exciting I decided to buzz off and check up on Joe (okay I didn't claim to be the brightest fly at the picnic).

Joe is all unhappy too (awwwww) and Matt teases him about the infomercial (as well he should) but Joe is unteasinglyward. Joe doesn't even perk up when Ellen enters the room. Matt and ELlen spend - oh about a half of second - worrying about frowny Joe before discussing their date. Matt presents Ellen with a tiny umbrella (just the right size for me! Now I just have to find a way to get my sticky fing-legs on it).

Okay at some time I have been really really bad. I must have been and if I ruined Scott Hamners sandwich - one or twice- by nibbling a bit on it when he wasnt' looking I promise to be the best of flies from now on. An honor fly! Because in addition to the aforementioned flashback I hitch a ride with Courtney and Chris expecting to have a little fun at last and end up at Johnny LaLa's - I was so ashamed I had to wear a disguise so I grabbed a toothpick - made myself a stinger out of it - and viola I am a bee! Chris how could you? You were my idol. Sorry folks this might take a while for me to recover from. Oh while I was attaching the stinger Courtney told Chris he must be a glutton for punishment (as must we all) but we are saved - somewhat - no karoke tonight - it is stand-up comedy night. What a relief! Sort of.

Chris is happy spending quality time with Courtney (as I am - hubba bubba) when he unhappily spots Matt and Ellen coming in (so I know Ellen's been bad but why is Matt punishing himself?). Chris informs Courtney Matt isn't exactly his favorite person to spend time with (after which I promptly presented him his understatement of the year award). Johnny announces first prize a hundred bucks for the contest (hey did you ever hear the one about the lady fly and the grasshopper? )

Matt is not happy about Chris being present and karaoke being absent. But Ellen is happy. Matt's the first contest and Chris thinks its funny that Matt is even attempting humor. Matt's comedy routine ( bless his heart - but I understand many women - including my editor who I am still not buzzing to - found him very hot looking today) doesn't go over well especially when Chris "helps" by heckling. Things quickly get way too unfunny when barely veiled insults start flying so I fly back over to.......

The hospital where Mary wants to know about the ring. Joe - the knight in shining bedpans - defends Karen's honor and her right to wear the ring. Mary insists it should have stayed locked up in the safety deposit box but Joe refuses to have the love-of-his-right-now-life honor besmirched. So I decide to check on the lovely lady who is looking over old family photos with lust-barely-held-in-check Frankie. And they are on the - gasp - infamous couch (run Karen run!) Karen pretends her unhappiness is due to her scandal ridden dad but Frankie can see right through her (and through her window - I have personally checked the view out it is quite spectacular)

Karen says that adjusting to living together was a bit rough. Frankie helpfully ask if it is because Joe is a slob or leaves the toilet seat up but Karen denies both of these horrendous things. Frankie then gets ohsohelpful and asks if it because Joe is a loner. All big eyes and innocence he tells Karen that Joe spent many an hour all locked up in his room. Karen raves about Joe's big brother skills and triggers yet another flashback (remember babe three strikes and you are out) but at least this isn't one we have seen before. Little Joe and Big Frankie are having a lesson in learning to ride a bike. Brought a tear to my eye but I recovered pretty quickly.

Is that an ounce of remorse I see in Frank's eyes? I must have been thrown off my usually brilliant track by my stinger addition because the next second Frankie is whining about Joe not lying for him - again.. Karen defends Joe - again. Frankie insists he was set up - again (this is almost as bad as a flashback - conversation redux). And once more Frankie whines that Joe could have told one little lie for him but in the next breath swears he is over it (and yeah I am a queen bee).

I rush back to Johnny's (I am not as young as I used to be this is really wearing my wings out here!) Where Matt is being awarded second place - first going to a wooden dummy (would I lie?). Ellen is all impressed with the improvement of his comedy skills until Matt points out he was second of two. Chris is impressed with Matt's impersonation of a doctor. He is paged. Matt only wanted to make Ellen laugh and Ellen tells him it worked. Matt and Ellen then decide to spend part of their romantic evening discussing Joe apparently for Courtney benefits who is eavesdropping so hard she is practically in Matt's lap. Chris has to cut the evening short -duty calls. And this is interesting - Chris then has Johnny take his and Courtney's picture. Now unless Chris has a supply of darts I can't think of why he wants a picture of Courtney. Makes a fly go buzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Chris then gleefully points out Matt lost to a dummy and Matt says he sure did - oh but Chris had to give the Q back didn't he? (One point for Matt I must say but I can't fathom why Chris who always has me rolling in the air didn't enter the contest). Matt offers to show Chris his trophy and Ellen admires Matt's so good mood that even Chris doesn't get to him. Matt says he is just very very very happy (okay Matt pretty much the words of doom) and that sooner or later karma catches up with you (speaking of doom - Ellen's face was full of it).

Back to the Scanlon flea infested hotel (hey I am around ) where Frankie suggest Karen dip herself in whipped cream and play with fire ants (don't know - sounds kind of kinky to me) after Karen again feels she should be punished for losing the ring. Frankie offers her his famous hot chocolate with whipped cream (and I am happily licking my sticky lips) when Courtney and Chris enter. Chris exits quickly after flashing a big smile Karen's way. Frankie wonders if Chris is that boring but since Courtney plops herself on the couch (not the first time I might add) Karen leaves. Frankie sulks that Courtney cleared the room - which I take as my hint to pop in and visit Matt and Ellen.

Who are cuddling oh so cutely. Ellen turns the lights down and sings for Matt "I want to be loved by you" she croons as she drops down for a kiss. Low light and kisses are always pretty much my cue to leave (hey I work for a respectable newspaper!) so I check on Karen and Joe where there is candlelight and Joe dressed up in his infomercial gear and telling Karen in a pseudo-accented voice that he loves her lots and would never cheat on her and they kiss so I am left nowhere to go but back to Courtney and Frankie where Courtney (in a fly-trap like mind) finally figures out Frank has a thing for Karen (oh duh). Frank is aghast that Courtney is wearing THE ring but Courtney is simply trying it on to get used to the feel - it and Joe will soon be hers - and Frank can just have goody-goody-gumdrops Karen.

And now I am tired and must bid you all goodbye - well actually I just thought of something I want to do with my stinger - oh John boy Junior!

Buzz