Daily Updates

Port Charles Update for Thursday, 1-Apr-1999

Today on Port Charles . . . . all the men were shirtless. Kevin and Lucy reunited. Johnny La La's burned to a crisp. Scott got his brains back, as did Eve, Ellen, Kevin, Lucy and all the other pod people. Frank and Courtney had couch sex. Ellen told Sebastian to go the hell away. Joe and Karen were actually interesting. Chris met this new girl, named Valerie, fell madly in love with her at first sight, and . . .

Oh, okay, so I'm lying. APRIL FOOL!!!!!!!!! Anyway, here's the real update -- REALLY!

Well, maybe not ALL of the men were shirtless today, but ONE of them was, as you'll see later! The show opens with Ellen in her bedroom -- candles lit, a nice romantic evening prepared, and in walks -- Sebastian????? Nope, NOT an April Fools Joke -- but don't worry, ‘tis just a dream. (You know, I had a similar dream about Nolan North the other night -- gosh, I hope the pod people haven't gotten to ME as well! Quick -- someone ask me if I still think Kevin is a pinhead. Yup, I still do. Whew! I guess I'm safe for now.) Anyway, don't worry, Ellen is in bed with Matt -- AND his shirt is unbuttoned, as it should be.

At Chateau Scanlon, Frank and Courtney are planning to go to the Port Charles National Bank and close Marcia's account. They're afraid that Chris knows too much -- as well they should be. Just then, the phone rings -- it's Marcia herself, only now she's back to calling herself Julie -- and she wants to see Frank ASAP!

Back at Ellen's place -- Matt is in the kitchen, with his shirt open (hey, I'm not a major Matt fan or anything, but I appreciate a good -- uh -- ‘view' -- when I see it! It's worth mentioning a second time). He cooked her breakfast -- with his shirt open, I assume, and had a special gift for her. This is too FUNNY -- an ice sculpture of a donkey, to make up for him being such a ‘jackass' (his words, not mine -- don't send me hate mail all you Matt fans) the other day. VERY cute!

At the Port Charles National Bank, which is quickly becoming THE place to be seen in Port Charles -- and hey, I'm not complaining, at least there nobody will break into a rendition of "In The Year 2525" or anything, Chris runs into Courtney, and wonders why she's there and is carrying this big briefcase. She comes up with some lame-o excuse and they go to breakfast. Naturally, Chris is suspicious, as he should be.

At the nuthouse, Frank visits Julie. Julie tells Frank that their baby talks to her -- my question for Julie is how can she distinguish the baby talking from all the OTHER voices in her head? Just one of those things that make you go "HMMMMMMMMM . . . ." I guess. She tells him Chris came to visit -- Frankie doesn't like that. And that she was lying -- she DID have money, but somebody took it! Now, who could it be?????

Back at Ellen's -- Matt is now COMPLETELY shirtless and trying to lure Ellen back to bed, and I really know what else happened during this scene, cause that's all I was paying attention too. But, I think that was the most important thing anyway . . . . .

At the Recovery Room, Chris and Courtney are having breakfast. Chris wonders where Frankenstein is (LMAO!), hiding in the bell tower or cleaning grease off the grill? ROTFLMAO -- Chris is SUCH a riot! Oh, and he looks GORGEOUS, BTW! As if he could possibly look otherwise. He asks Courtney about Neil's lab tests that she lied about -- she tried (pathetically) to cover. He don't buy it (but doesn't let on to that fact). And he keeps glancing at Courtney's little briefcase. He mentions that he went to visit Julie, he feels sorry for her. (Yeah, RIGHT Chris!) He tells Courtney that she's penniless.

Back at the looney bin, Julie is whining about how someone stole her baby's money. Frank suggests that maybe CHRIS did it! Uh-oh -- I saw this coming a mile away. I have a feeling I know what's gonna happen here -- but I'll save that for some MB speculation. Anyway, Frank leaves -- and Julie says to herself that she can ALWAYS tell when he's lying!

At the recovery room, Matt and Ellen are there, because everyone in town MUST eat breakfast at the same place today, and unfortunately Matt has put his shirt back on. DARN! And who walks in but Sebastian -- gee, what a coincidence. He talks briefly -- Matt and Ellen leave. Frank walks in just as Chris is getting up to pay the check, in one of THE best exchanges between these two that I've EVER seen. Frank is carrying a brown paper bag. And since it was just SO freakin' funny, and I really don't want anything lost in my own translation here, I took the time to write down EVERY WORD of the conversation, just for you. Enjoy . . . . . .

Chris: You know, it's never a good sign for a restaurant when the hired help brings in their own bag lunch. What did mommy pack for you today? Peanut butter and jelly or tuna fish?

Frank: Let me see -- all I've got here is a knuckle sandwich. (Frank holds up his fist.)

Chris: Come on, let's see -- I'll trade you for my apple.

Frank: You don't want to look in this bag -- I had a few leftover poisonous snakes after I put the rest in your car.

Chris: It's good to see you haven't lost your sense of humor with your career change.

Frank: Oh, not at all.

Chris: You know you just missed Courtney -- we had breakfast together. We missed you too -- you're our favorite bus boy.

Frank: Why the hell should I care who you have breakfast with?

Chris: No reason. Now, can I pay my bill, or does that entail the threat of physical violence from you?

Frank: You can pay me anytime you want.

Chris: (Pulls out a wad of cash) Now would you look at this -- I only have a $50. Do you know how to break a $50, Frank? (Frank takes the money.) Hey, I tell you what -- why don't you just keep it?

Frank: Oh, great -- my cut of the Lance Pharmaceuticals money?

Chris: Don't tell mommy where you got it all. You're welcome. (Chris leaves.)


Now, wasn't that HYSTERICAL! Trust me, it was even MORE funny watching their facial expressions -- they were both just AMAZING! I LOVE it!!!!!!!!!!

And lastly, we see Courtney at the bank -- uh-oh, there's a problem. It seems that Marcia's account has been CLOSED!


And that's all, folks -- hope you enjoyed my little spin on things! Ta!

Valerie