Daily Updates

Port Charles Update for Tuesday, 20-May-2003

[Open with Kevin, Karen and Elizabeth in Kevin’s hospital room]

Elizabeth says that she didn’t mean to stab Kevin [she was only handing him the letter opener with great enthusiasm?] It was an accident; she went crazy. But Kevin is better now, and that’s good. Elizabeth says she didn’t mean to do it, was only upset as she lost her daughter. She stresses that she really was worried about him – so worried that she left him on the floor for a while and decided not to call 911. But, hey I figure it was Karmic payback to Kevin for leaving Chris on the floor so long ago.]

[I mention this as it seems the only way Chris is going to ever be in another recap at this point]

Karen objects – Are they sick!? Elizabeth could have killed Kevin!?!?!

Elizabeth says that she was ‘just’ [my emphasis] very upset about her daughter [homicide being a great calmer-downer**]

Karen logically points out that though everyone is upset about Alison, they don’t see anyone else stabbing other people with letter openers!

Kevin tells Karen to ‘calm down’ [and fortunately for Kevin’s other shoulder, there is not a letter opener in sight, so Karen has to simply take deep calming breaths]

Karen [breathing pretty hard] Calm down! You’re just going to let her get away with this!?

Kevin says that he understands why Elizabeth stabbed him – he feels like
He has lost his daughter, too. [He gives Elizabeth a little smile here] [Karen looks as bewildered as I]

Kevin reiterates he does and says he is going home, and [hint, hint at Elizabeth – it has to be a heavy hint, you understand why] says he was just about to call a cab……..

Elizabeth offers him a ride home, but wants him to come along to the memorial service in the park [what?! Have Jack and Jamal) got carrier pigeon service? (Or is that carrier bat service?)]

Kevin hesitates about going to the service, feeling he might not be too welcome, but Elizabeth assures him he’ll be welcome and she ‘doesn't want to go alone’ and she’d love to give him a ride [my paraphrase, but I think the double entendre fits]

Kevin accepts without even checking to see if she means a ride inside the car, or on the bumper.

Karen [the only sane person left in PC?] says she doesn’t understand it – her mind visibly boggling, asks him "what is he thinking?!?! " Going with the woman who tried to kill him because his daughter killed her daughter!?!

“That is really sick!” She cries.

Kevin says this is “No, it’s just port charles [well, they are BOTH right: as port charles is really sick. Script Doctor! Do you make house calls!?]

[Into the Woods* with Jamal, Rafe and Bull (and Frank deep in the trees listening in)]

Rafe is busy trying to delay the memorial [and I am already sick of the memorial and it hasn’t even happened]

Jack and Jamal explain that they ‘know’ Alison would want a small completely informal service and they made a few calls on their way to the park [no carrier bats – darn!] and since Rafe has been MIA – nothing has been planned – it’s totally up to Rafe [but it’s all set and everyone has been invited] so he can change it [ha ha ha] if he wants ….

And they keep telling him it’s up to him, but how they planned it and invited the family and friends and finally they realize that Rafe is just sort of string at them and not all that thrilled and Jack says if Rafe is not ready to say good bye then they understand [and I think he is about to call the caterers and cancel …..

But then, finally Rafe can get a word in edgewise and tells them he’s really not ready to say good bye and …..

[buuuuuut, though he got Jack and Jamal to shut up, another precinct is heard from as ] [Gorgeous] Frank walks up and interrupts, asking why would anyone delay the memorial for someone they loved?

[Cave Dwellers]

Alison tells Livvie to stay away from her. Livvie tells Alison that the ‘problem is’ that if she bit Alison, it would kill her [Yes! Someone on pc has finally grasped the concept of exactly why it’s too dangerous to the communityNOT to give the antidote to the poison to Livvie. Now, if she’d just clue Lucy and Ian and Rafe in]

Livvie tells Alison that it’s no problem at all, because everyone thinks that Livvie has already killed her … [takes a menacing step closer]

WHAP! Alison slaps Liv across the face. [No letter opener being handy, and she NEEDs to calm down, I guess. Yessiree, that Alison, is as sweet and compassionate as all those mourners have been saying]

Alison tells Liv: “That is the LAST time you will threaten me with that!”

Liv rubs her face [as I wonder if she’s thinking I could make that more true than Libo guess with just one sip!]

[Club Josh]

Caleb is really into his relaxation routine – he’s using Josh’s neck to squeeeeeeeze out all the nasty tension in his fingers and arms.

Caleb: I thought you’d be choked up to see me, but this is ridiculous! [LMAO]

Josh: agh! Erg! Awk! Phhhhht! [It must be (in vampirese) “Help! Goons! Come here! I need you!]

Goon Number 1 enters and Caleb asks Josh: What’s the matter? You can’t fight your own fights?

A short scuffle ensues – first Caleb tosses Josh free and in a desperate bid for total relaxation, he grabs the Goon, head butts him [really] and then tosses him onto one of the tables. It’s a great method of easing tension, as the table completely collapses at ease on the floor. The Goon does too.

Caleb: I figured you’d be looking for me – I just wanted to save you the trouble. [laughs – this is cute]

Josh [back on his feet] that was quite an entrance [I give it a 5.8, he only did a double, a triple would have been the more daring choice] then again, you never had much class [he must give it a 4.4]

C: what say we knock off the pleasantries [instead of the goons?] you know why I’m here

[the two begin circling each other – this is very effective direction]

J: I’m more curious to know where you came from – you and I had a deal [the Monte Hall of soaps] and your stupid girlfriend Livvie ruined it!

C; Alison’s death – that was most unfortunate

J: unfortunate?! [Seriously getting … stressful]

C: [smile [not very stressed at all] well Livvie always was the impulsive one!

J; then you better watch your neck [LOL] because your life is getting shorter by the minute [in a philosophical sense, this is true for us all]

C; still very much in control] we both know you have an antidote, and you’re going to give it to me

J: ha! [Not funny laughing ha] mortality hasn’t humbled you one bit, has it?! Maybe dying tonight will!

C; I got a better idea. [Smile] why don’t I ring your neck until you give me the antidote!?

J: [Completely tense now] you cocky son of a ----- [moves toward Caleb for stress reduction action]

Caleb flings clear liquid [Calgon-ated water?] into Josh’s face. Josh grabs his own and goes back to making grunty noises.


[credits]

*Giants can be good; witches can be right

** We know from Caleb yesterday that Calgon and Milano cookies are out of the question.


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PART II

[Into the Woods with Reese and Casey – but not in the same place as Jack and Jamal and Frank][I’m expecting Bernadette Peters to step out of the trees at any point now and hex them all]

C&R talk about Jamal’s message that the memorial service [have the danged thing, and get it over with, will ya?!] has been set up in the Park. Reese wants to know why Jack took off on her [?] that way –and wonders aloud if the only way she can see him is to stay for the service. Casey tells her to do whatever she wants, but the service in on and Casey will be part of it.

Reese says she will stay and help – Casey points about that Reese didn’t like Alison, why would she do a nice thing. Reese says for Casey not to hand out any medals to her [Puh-leese, no, then we’d have to talk about THAT ceremony for days] that she is only trying to score some points with Jack [him being so discriminating and all, ha ha]

After offering the stay and help, Reese leaves [no, I did not make that up]

Ricky now emerges from the bushes and greets Casey – he says he got her message and what can he do? She says “nothing” [and for once Casey and I are in complete agreement]

She explains she was just waiting for some flowers [see? My guess about the caterers was not that far wrong] He tells her that he will wait there with her, and she says “thanks” and looks like he’s going something magnificent for her.

Casey then asks Ricky what he wanted to talk to Josh about – because that is why he stayed over at the club.

Ricky stammers out that he and Josh talk all the time.

Casey says that it’s ‘cool’ if he does not want to tell her.

Reese calls from back in the bushes that ‘they’ [presumptively the flowers] are there, and Casey jogs away so that Ricky can flashback on the conversation he had with Josh yesterday [in case we were in the laundry room looking for more spray starch during that scene, and missed it] Hmmmmm. Seems that Josh wants Ricky to seduce Casey.

[In other bushes – Rafe, Frank Jack and Jamal]

Rafe points out to Frank that what Rafe does or doesn’t do for Alison is none of Frank’s business*

Frank – not your typical grieving widower, are you?
R: you want to see me upset, keep pushin’ – cause I owe you one anyway [a back rub? – both men are getting cranky, if you ask me, and looking for those tension-tamers]

F; tough words, but still…. [considering] not a lot of emotion [no flies on Frank]

Jamal: Why don’t you get out of here!? It’s because of bloodsuckers like you that Alison is even dead! Now if you say another word about her – I’m going to tear your head off – right here – right now!

F; Now Jamal is acting like a man whose lost someone he loves – he’s … intense [turning to Rafe, looks at him]

Jack – get out of here …

Frank, continuing, looking at Rafe: "and .. Jack – they want to say a proper goodbye. But …. Not you .. " [thinking.] [that Jay Pickett just rocks!]

R: why would I share my grief with you? Your kind – you feed on people's misery

F; so, you’re not mourning Alison to spite us? [raised brows]

R: I don’t care what you think [but he does, we can see] So, GET OUT OF HERE! Before I stick a stake right through your heart!

F [obviously not fully buying the act, nice small secret smile on his face][turns looks at Jack and Jaml, dismisses them, exits][bravo!]

Jack: Rafe – let us know when you want to plan something for Alison [but, um the flowers have arrived and we are short on cash so …]

Rafe: now – you were right – it's what everyone needs – um what I need – don’t know how I’ll say good-bye, but I have to try, right?

Jack & Jamal: sure – we made some calls – thought we’d have it by the fountain – blah blah nice noises of comfort for Rafe]

Rafe thanks them for their efforts – Jack says ‘no worries’ [been hanging out with Jax and Mac?]

[Jack and Jamal leave Rafe alone to compose himself for the service, as my mind wanders and I think about the backpack full of blood that is getting older by the second and him knowing that Livvie’s got have got a thirst on and all….]

And [I was right] he pulls out the blood bag and says ‘hang in there Livvie]

[Cave Dwellers]

Liv: I can’t believe you just did that [I couldn’t either]

Alison: well, you need to get over to get over it, because I am sick of you threatening me every time you get insecure. [So, according to Alison, Liv should simply opt for violence, not words when she is fed up with someone else’s brattiness? Hey! Wouldn’t that mean ……]

Liv: [GMTA] OK, next time I will make it more than a threat

Alison: You wouldn’t dare kill me [I’m too precious]

Liv: you think I care about Rafe

Alison: You do care about what Caleb may think

Liv: you think he cares about you [why not – she’s the new Eve as far as I can tell – all the guys adore her]

Alison: you need to stop - Caleb and I have no interest in each other except in bringing down Josh.

Liv: oh yeah! Another one of your admirers – you think everyone is after you, Alison!

Alison: You think I want any of this?! I don’t! [but it doesn’t mean she can’t enjoy the attention, note] all I wanna be with is Rafe! All you wanna be with is Caleb [that sums up the plots of the last year effectively, doesn’t it?] We have to forget how we feel about one another – remember that Joshua is the enemy - and work together – try and win this war and bring down Joshy and trust each other

Livvie sick, [like me after listening to Goody-two-shoes give her lecture to the women she just *!tch-slapped, but without any Pepto Bismal] seats herself moaning

Alison [all compassionate now] you ok?

Liv: [duh] no - What happened to Rafe – why taking so long [because he’s GOT to go moan about how great Alison is before he can feed you]

Alison: I don’t know

Liv: I can’t wait any longer - Have to go to hospital – I have to feed

Alison – no, you will kill someone if you do.

[I must interject here. Why can’t someone give themselves a small cut and drain some blood into a cup for Livvie?]

Liv: Just going to the blood bank [to make a withdrawal]

Alison: It’s way too far

Liv: I don’t care – I must feed

Alison: I can’t let you go alone -look – I’m coming with you.

Liv: So much for trust!

[they exit the cave as we exit their scene and go to Club Josh]

Josh: Arrrrggggh! EEEEgh!

C: oh. Acid in the face – that’s got to hurt [LMAO][the delivery is perfect]

J: Aaaaaaah!

C: It’s not lethal, but it sure feels that way, doesn’t it? It’s an old slayer trick – they use it to distract vampires so they can drive stake through their hearts

J: Arrggh – give me water [he’s standing at the bar!!!] give me something!

[behind, we see Goon Number 1 regaining consciousness and getting up]

C: Give me antidote – I give you anything you want – otherwise I have very creative way to torture you [would that the slayers had HALF the creativity of the vampire]

[goon number two, hearing Joshua cry “Eeeeeg! Uoooook! Arrrrghhhga! “Goon number 2! I need you!, enters from the back]

J: get him! Get him!

C: come on fellas – you don’t want to end up like your boss? Two against one ought to be a fun fight.

Josh, who is not enjoying Caleb’s repartee as much as me, shove Goon number 2 – “what are you waiting for!? Get him! Get him!

*there is a lot of that going around [See yesterday’s recap]

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PART III

[The Lighthouse, where it sees that the stairs go all the way to the top, but the light no longer shines]

Kevin and Elizabeth enter

Elizabeth: [Remember that SHE DROVE him home] I thought we were going to the park?

K: we were I just need to get something. He asks her is she is OK, she says she is, but should be asking him. He pats his stab wound [ !!! ] and says that he’ll live. He then tells her that she wanted to hurt someone for hurting [dead is the ultimate hurt] Alison – Liv wasn’t there and he was the next best target.

She tells him that he makes it sound so logical [at least, to her, I guess]

He explains that everyone has regrets – he has a lifetime of them [moving from GH to PC?] she wants to know why he let Liv go – he says that at first he was going to ‘punish’ her, but when it came time to ‘punish’ her – he just couldn’t [of course, he does not mention that it looked very much like he was going to make Liv go to that Big 'Time Out' in the Sky – but since Elizabeth thinks it was an accident when she STABBED him, I don’t know why he bothers with the euphemism]

Then he tells her that he has a bad headache and would she go get him some aspirin from the bathroom and gives her directions so they won’t be hard to find [like shooting fish in a barrel, to distract Elizabeth] she hops off to get his pills and he hops to get his hypodermic]

But like a bad junkie’s dream, his second attempt to get his morning fix is interrupted by another woman – Elizabeth returns – seems she can’t find the aspirin, even with directions. [Couldn’t pour beer out of a boot if the directions were printed on the heel, this gal]

Elizabeth [catching him red-handed with needle] what are you doing?

[Cut to the fountain, pictures of Alison, flowers and other memorially stuff is on display in the nonfunctioning fountain and I hope one of the call that they made was to see if the thing is on a timer of they are going to have a ‘burial at sea’ for Alison.]

Jack, Jamal, Reese and Casey are there – everyone except Casey fiddling with the stuff in the fountain.

Casey walks over to where she can greet Ricky as he emerges from the bushes – Casey says the fountain display is nice and whines that no one noticed or cared when she checked out [She was WRONG – I cared. I had the most profound sense of relief you can imagine] Ricky says if he had known her back then, he would have cared.

Casey explains that [contrary to how it looked sounded and what she said] she was not complaining or looking for sympathy. Ricky agrees that’s true, and how no one got a chance to know her back then. But now she is so happy happy, joy joy to be a Guardian Angel.

He asks her is she ever thinks about not being a GA. She says like a “Fall from Grace” [A Jon Lindstrom movie, Yay! Oh – and that Spacey Guy is in it. And…… hey! Wait a minute! Bernadette Peters! Ding dang! I knew she was going to show up In the Woods one ways or the other!]

Anyway, Ricky and Casey talk about how it would suck for her to look her job, and that she’s already screwed up a few times. But she hasn’t messed up on watching over Ricky. And she goes on about how she can’t lose focus and mess up and he says that is why she can’t [insert your own euphemism for sex here] with him. She confirms that is right.

Now Ricky moves off and Rafe joins Casey and Casey mentions it’s a lot of trouble for someone who is not dead. Rafe whines that he hates it; but there is no other way and how he hates hurting all their friends with this deception. Casey tells him that she hopes he has someone good in his corner for this one. He grimaces and tells her she ‘doesn’t want to know.’

[At the Club Josh, which is now more accurately the "Club" Caleb – the goons have gotten control of Caleb (not gently) and are roughing him up]

Josh tells the Goons to take Caleb out and kill him – painfully [why they have to take him out, I dunno –all that red – the stains would never show]

C: [down but not out] taunts Josh: Why don’t you do it yourself! What are you afraid of?!

Josh explains that he has people to do his work …
Caleb counters with: because you can’t do it yourself! You will never beat me, Joshua, never!

Caleb wrests himself free of the goon’s grip and as they circle him to try and tame him once more a woman enters, followed by a cameraman and she yells: It’s true! You’re back! We knew you were here!

Caleb straightens from his defensive crouch and takes her hand, kisses it: it’s true. It’s me. In the flesh. Pleased to meet you.

The woman looks around and light dawns [reddish light] oooh. Were we interrupting anything?

Josh gives the traditional vampire signal of ‘return to the crypt and wait for me’ to his goons by jerking his head violently back. Twice. [one jerk per goon]

The goons see and obey.

C: I don’t know – Joshua – you want to tell the young lady what was going on?

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PART IV

[The Dimhouse (formally known as the Lighthouse]

Kevin [hiding his needle and drugs] Well, I’m sorry you weren’t supposed to see that

Elizabeth asks Kevin: wasn’t supposed to see what? [Duh]

Kevin explains [after sending her for ASPRIN] that the needle was for a pain killer. For pain. [He pats his stab wound again] [No wonder he is in pain!] He tells her that he didn’t want her to make her feel any worse than she already did.

Elizabeth: you are so remarkable [cluelessly] [rubs her hand up and down his chest – luckily this time – on the uninjured side] thinking about me

K: [takes her hand] No, not so remarkable, really, just a survivor

She asks him if he wants her to help him [to inject himself – or take the aspirin?] He tells her ‘no’ and to ‘wait in the car’.

She agrees and leaves.

Kevin turns to get his fix – [gets the hypodermic] There being no woman left to interrupt him – he interrupts himself.

K: no! No, Kevin, you can do this [puts needle away, turns and walks as if to leave, stops, pauses [he’s very good in these scene, BTW. He and Jay Pickett have made my day today]]

Kevin turns and runs for the needle – “Ok, just one more, just one” – [we see the relief on his face as the drug seeps into his system.] [OK – we know what the drug is --- it's liquid Lay's potato chips – betcha can’t inject just one]


[Back in the Park the Memorial is beginning]

Jamal points out that not everyone has arrived, [including the deceased’s mother] but what the hey – they should go ahead and get started. I think anyone who wants to say something about Alison should get a chance to talk

Rafe sets down his bag of blood and begins. He says that it is really difficult for reasons they can’t imagine. But dear Alison her friends meant a lot to her - – opened her heart to all of us – one thing I know about her, she hated seeing her friends in pain – seeing them… I can’t …….

Jamal finishes for him – it’s hard to remember Alison without immediately thinking of how much she cared about other people, so he thinks it would be a good idea for everyone to share memories of Alison….

[But what is this!? Incredibly, coincidently, Liv and Alison are chancing upon the Memorial! Who could have predicted this marvelous plot twist!? ]

[BTW, for fans of Mr. Blackwell, I will tell you that Alison has stolen Gilligan’s hat and has it pulled down while Liv got that golfers cap from that gal who does that weird dance thing in the passenger seat for that car commercial. It, too, is pulled low and how see can see to put one foot in front of the other – I dunno] [These make Elizabeth’ hospital disguise look like genius personified][At least Live tucked her hair up and back under the hat, anyway. Sigh]

Alison: We’re almost to GH, OK

Liv: What?! You still think I’m going to bite someone

[They hear Jamal’s voice and stop to listen. [For Liv and Alison this could be the next thing in ‘reality viewing’ excepting that Alison is not really dead. Hmmmm A Reality/Fiction show.]

Jamal [Alison’s old lover] says that he knows, personally, that whoever Alison touched she made into a better person. She was the truest friend anyone could have, or at least she was since Eve died [no, that last bit was mine]

As the cameraman zooms on the Alison’s picture on the fountain [he adores her, too] we cut to a close up of Alison’s face.

[Just as we were about to [probably] go to a flashback of Alison’s face, the darn editor cuts up to Club Josh][And it breaks my heart. Not.]

Caleb urges Josh to tell her [the reporter] what is going on

Woman: [finally notices Josh’s face has that ‘not so fresh’ look] [Does Elizabeth have a sister in broadcasting?] Oooooh . What happened?

J: I had an acid peel [Hey Moe! It’s moider peeling an acid, I tell ya!] yuck! Yuck! Yuck!]

Caleb explains that Josh is not always prepared to be on camera. But maybe he could help – the reporter is thrilled – she asks him why he left the band.

Caleb explains that it was creative differences – but when she wants to know where he has been – he says he realizes he was not prepared to give the interview – and he has someplace he needs to be

The reporter is all flirty and agrees as long as they can schedule on later

Caleb says absolutely and he’ll have someone call her [my people will call your people (Transylvania 6500)]

[She’s all happy with that and Caleb turns to Josh, puts his hands on Josh’s shoulders and tells him] You thought you were untouchable, but you’re not [not Robert Stack? Excuuuse me, I meant to say Kevin Costner] [he leans forward and whispers in Josh’s ear]: Enjoy your time on top – it won’t last!

[He turns and leaves][The camera follows him out the door and we see him look back through the window and smile [and I finally see the ‘real’ name of the club – Elixir – which is like a bad vampire joke: what does Vampire Caleb do when he can’t use his poisoned fangs to bite Livvie?]

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Scenes from the next port charles:

[Into the Woods with Kevin, Elizabeth and Lucy and Ian]

Ian is Tickling Lucy’s fancy (and her tongue with his) when the others walk up:

Kevin Sorry to interrupt your mourning, * but could you tell us where the Memorial Service is?[And Kevin should know mourning when he sees it – it’s what he and Lucy did on the living room floor in front of the fire when Eve ‘died’ [the first time, or was it the second?]

[Into the Woods with Caleb, Liv and Alison][Caleb and Alison are crouched facing each other, profiles to us. Liv is crouched down too, so we can see her face between their profiles.]

Alison: I’m so sick of you ordering me around!
C: Get used to it!
Alison: [who does not know the better part of valor]: What! Are you going to kiss me again, like you did last time, to shut me up!??

Liv [face reads: Whaaaaaaa?!] [standing] What!

We [cut to the fountain and] see Jack and Ricky turn as they hear the shouted one word question.


* Can’t you hear Elizabeth’s thoughts after he says that: “Gee, it’s so dark out; I thought it was night time!!? I thought it was night.”