Daily Updates

Port Charles Update for Wednesday, 21-May-2003

[Open with Josh (at Club Josh) “flashingback” of him telling Caleb:


“Let me get rid of her – that woman will be the death of you -

Caleb is not to trust Livvie (even her crazy father warned him not to trust her – she doing what this doing for Caleb’s benefit (she’s coming on to Ricky – and I’m glad Josh gave the explanation – as I could not think of a reason to come on to Ricky)

Caleb remarks that Livvie means nothing to him – and that Josh should get out.

More flash:

Josh: You never should have been a vampire, much less a ruler! [More like a tape measure?]

C: Well, even now, I could still crush you like a bug.

J: what are you talking about?
C: let’s do this! You and me, once and for all!

J: you, a mere mortal [ha!]

C; maybe you don’t got the guts
J: I never walked away from a challenge [would you believe, ran] for that you’ll be sorry you’ll be truly sorry …

[Cut to another flash of Caleb choking Josh [haven’t we seen this twice this week already?]

Same harsh words exchanged, but [again] only Josh gets acid-in-the-face

Josh’s ruminations of the past over, he ‘comes to’ the present and we see him in the club and his two goons standing by.

Josh is pretty angry that he was attacked by a pathetic mortal – and in his own place [somewhere else would have been better, somehow?]

Goon number one tells him that they are sorry they messed up

Josh is not appeased and continues to chew – got acid thrown in his face in his own club! [Guess the goons weren’t watching the flashback and had to be told] and why does he have guards anyway!?! Why doesn’t he have the Girl Scouts protect him!? [Mommy, I got my Vampire Protection Badge Today!]

Goon: It won’t happen again…
J: you’re right it won’t happen again! I have been far too generous! I am going to teach YOU – and the people of this town – a lesson that they’ll never forget! THEN YOU’LL REMEMBER WHO’S IN CHARGE!! [Ooooh. He breaks a glass - he means business now]

The goons slink off into the back.

[Into The Woods with Lucy and Ian]

Lucy, [with one lousy flower – guess Jaml and Jack bought out the shop to fill that fountain] followed by Ian are walking to the memorial, Lucy starts to falter and falls – Ian grabs her and hauls her up with an arm about her waist.

Ian is still worried that she checked herself out GH too soon [he is a one-note samba]

Lucy assures him that she is fine and does not want to hear anymore of that talk [You and me, both, Luce] Lucy is [surprise] crying.

Ian tells her he is worried about her – Lucy tells him she knows that but is more worried about Alison right now. Ian reiterates the Plot about everyone thinking Alison is dead and how now Rafe can keep her safe [he’s being doing gangbusters so far, eh?]

Lucy says so then they will go to the memorial service and then asks Ian to cry buckets [I think she needs a break]

Ian [whose hearing must be going] then reverts back to the topic that Lucy [and I } don’t want to hear anymore about – to wit, he wants to tell everyone that she is not felling well and then she can go home to bed, which is where she should be.

Now that no one is crying, we have to interrupt that to mean that it’s time for more Love. Lucy tells him that to woo a lass when he says go to bed it must be a sexy proposition, not about her welfare and she feels fine and invites him to fell her, which he does and then they pucker up …and …


[we hear Kevin’s voice [yay]

[Kevin and Elizabeth [who got to the flower shop ahead of Lucy, and got a bouquet*] come Into The Woods]

Kevin Sorry to interrupt your mourning, ** but could you tell us where the Memorial Service is?[And Kevin should know mourning when he sees it – it’s what he and Lucy did on the living room floor in front of the fire when Eve ‘died’ [the first time she died that is, or was it the second? Definitely not the last time]


[Into the Woods with Alison and Liv, crouching in the bushes to give a listen to the wonderfulness of Alison being described by all the friends she is deceiving.]

Alison comments that it is weird that she is watching her own funeral, but Liv [who seems to have a better grasp [all around] of what ‘being in hiding means, places a hand over Alison’s mouth.

Liv: [whispers] If Josh finds out you have a pulse – it will be your funeral for real!


Jamal is explaining that how special his Spunky Alison is and how she taught him all he knows about how good people could be and how she was a good friend [before she dumped him like yesterday’s garbage that is] He was glad she was stubborn and blah blah yadda yadda

Alison’s compassionate heart has had too much [no, she doesn’t leave, she decides to expose herself] [no, not like THAT, this is a PG-14 how!] She just decides that it is ‘too cruel’ to let her buddies think she is dead.

Liv tries she really does, tells her that if she blows her cover, she will really give her pals something to cry about - But Alison starts to go anyway and Livvie – who must be weak from smelling that day-old blood coagulating in Rafe’s backpack, is ineffectual in grabbing her.

Lucy for the Plot that Drives Everything, Caleb coincidently arrives at THAT EXACT SPOT [where they are hidden from all the other mortals] at that moment***. He grabs Alison and pulls her back down into the crouching position – she finally manages to knock the hat off [she’s be fidgeting with it the entire scene it must have annoyed EH]

Caleb:
Sorry Alison – sometimes you got to hurt the ones you love.



* Reminds me of Michael Caine trying to get flowers for “Brooke” in Noises Off!


** Can’t you hear Elizabeth’s thoughts after he says that? “Gee, it’s so dark out; I thought it was night time!!? ”



*** The Improbability Drive must have been engaged for this entire evening In The Woods.


END OF PART I


[Credits]

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PART II

[Into the Woods with Lucy and Ian and Kevin and Elizabeth]

Lucy: Elizabeth! What are you doing here with Kevin?

Kevin: Relax Lucy, it’s not a date. [LMAO] We’re just going to Alison’s memorial.

Ian: She stabbed you – she put you in the hospital!

Elizabeth: It actually was an accident

Lucy: I don’t think you accidentally stab anybody.

Elizabeth: Well, we’ve decided to dwell on the future, not on the past [just like the writers – why should anyone’s past make any difference NOW?]

K: I’m surprised that you would LUCY; I mean it’s so negative. I guess we could rub a crystal ball or something [Kevin shoots, he scores!]

IAN: what needs to be rubbed is your face, in the dirt [a miss, a definite miss!]

LUCY: no no no no come on – he’s not worth it [this team can’t score]

K: Excuse me – aren’t you the one who is shacking up with a vampire?! [Kevin scores again!]

Elizabeth: Could we stop all this [can’t we all just get along?] I’m going to say good-bye to my daughter – oh, LUCY could you give me some insight as to where you were when my daughter was getting the life sucked out of her – I mean, aren’t you the slayer? [Oooooh! Elizabeth scores?!?!]

K: come on let’s go [And Lucy and Ian are handily defeated 3-0 by Kevin and Elizabeth!!]

[K&E leave in victory]

LUCY: you know she is right - I should have protected Alison

IAN: she’s not really dead

LUCY: I should have protected her – then maybe she wouldn’t … [Lucy, when did you become such a downer?]

IAN: not your fault, blah

Lucy, NO! [Apologetic] Stop! I’m sorry -I know you love me and are worried about me – I love you and I know you are very worried about me.

IAN: should not let him get to me like that

LUCY: Kevin - it doesn’t matter [Strike her down NOW!] It doesn’t matter – you have been very busy taking care of me – maybe I need to take care of you a little and you’re exhausted and hungry

IAN: I’m OK

LUCY: I’m sure glad we have each other

IAN: Let’s go pay our respects.



[Into the Woods with Caleb, Alison and Liv]

C: you two are supposed to be in the catacombs – what part of stay didn’t you understand!?!?

Alison: I’m sorry – Liv need some supplies [because Rafe is at the memorial instead of taking care of business]


Liv: Because he’s at your phony funeral

C: taking you back

Alison: I’m NOT hiding anymore! [What a BRAT]

C: Hey, do you think this is fun for any of us!?

Liv: and do you think I like spending 24/7 with you?
C; shut up – come on – let’s go

Alison: NO! It’s one thing to hide while not knowing what is going on and another to watch Jack and Jamal suffer like dogs grieving over wonderful me [no one asked you to stay for the memorial – you could have remembered that Livvie was starving and gone to the blood bank – since it was obvious that Rafe was going to hang around the Park. But noooooooooooooooooo

C: Snap out of it! You’re life’s in danger!

Alison: Oh, I just supposed to sit here callously watching my own funeral [well, yes, that is the Plot]

C; it’s better than watching your wedding to Josh, isn’t it?!


[Move to Lucy and Ian joining Rafe who has moved away from the main memorial to greet them – still carrying that backpack that I am getting so creeped out by]


LUCY: Hey you [hug] are you OK? How’s Alison

R: I hate leaving her with Livvie and Caleb – but have to make sure Josh thinks she’s really dead [and she could be since you are hoarding the blood]

LUCY: OK so look really weepy – here [gives him her used Kleenex]


[Lucy and Ian and Rafe move back to the memorial [Jamal’s praises are still going on, I guess] the camera moves with them until they pass Elizabeth and Kevin, and we [and the camera] stay with K&E]


[Then we cut to Frank [Hooooray] who is Deep Into The Woods watching]

[But he gets not a word and we go to Jack who has taking Jamal’s place [I guess Jamal’s voice finally gave out]

Jack: when I first came to town and things were tough – Alison invited me over for dinner – said she wanted to try the recipes, but think she wanted to make sure I got a hot meal [but she doesn’t car if Livvie does – that blood must be ooky by now*] He’s really gone

[Back to be-still-my-beating-heart Frank, who like me, has had enough of the memorial – plus he got the ‘Bat signal’ flashed on his arm by Commissioner Gordon – or Josh – who can tell? Frank fades deeper into the woods and is gone]

[All we are left with is more oozing the joy of Alison, or going to the fight in the bushes, so I guess the cameraman makes the best choice when he goes back to the fight.]

Alison: I’m sick of you ordering me around! [She seems to be sick of everyone who is trying too help her stay alive now] My grandmother has been turned and all my friends are grieving [and I bet she’d like some cheese with her whine]

Liv: who cares?! [I guess not Livvie and millions of fans seem to agree]

C: [fed up – and not with blood] we are all going back to the cave now!

Alison has a hizzy fit and jerks her arm away when Caleb tries to get her to leave – she goes on in her rant about being sick of them telling her what to do and blah and then spits out that Caleb shut her up once before by kissing her.

Liv: What!?

[Jamal and Ricky turn] r: You guys hear that?


Liv: you kissed her?!

C: [still from Mars] Be quiet!

Liv: Not till you explain what happened!

C; I will explain later let’s get out of here now [he grabs each woman by a wrist but Liv breaks away and stumbles into the memorial] [before she can say she only came to say how delicious old Spunky-Sparky-Alison was (her part in telling happy times with Alison) Elizabeth screeches: OMG – there she is! You Murderer! Murderer! [Kevin grabs Elizabeth around the waist to haul her back from chasing Livvie]

[Meanwhile, Caleb has FINALLY gotten big-mouth Alison out of there]

[we get one last shot of Liv [who managed to keep HER hat on] staring at the shocked group of mourners and then we go to a commercial – I kid you not – that introduces a recipe for a perfect morning [and I thought we just left PC’s idea of a perfect mourning] It’s for maple pecan crunch, BTW from Post]



[* yes, I seem to be obsessing here on the Backpack O’ Blood]



[Commercial]

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PART III

[The NeverEndingMemorial In The Woods]

Elizabeth: [to Liv] I can’t believe you had the nerve to show your face here! You killed my daughter [Kevin has to fight to keep Elizabeth from from getting away to attack Liv] Kevin tells Elizabeth to stop and asks Liv if she is all right..

Jamal starts to manhandle Liv [who is still, apparently, weak from thirst and doesn’t beat him] Ricky stays back but yells insults at her [Jamal, overcome, rips Livvie hat off(!?!?!) What a beast!]

[But now we see that he just wanted a good grip and grabs he in a kind of half-nelson around the neck. Kevin, going to her aid, grabs her about the waist [there is a lot of that going around tonight] and a tug of Liv ensues] [We are not to learn who would have won [it sure would NOT have been Livvie] as Rafe then runs over and stops the fight by grabbing Jamal away and yelling.]

R: Everybody stop!

[Kevin seizes the moment [and Livvie] in a protective hug more or less around the waist]

Jamal – Alison’s dead! And Josh is turning this town into Vampire Central [Join us now for the continuing stories on VC]

Casey adds her two cents: Let the slayer handle this! You are not equipped to take down a biter.

Jamal: And he is? [I have my doubts, too.]

Across the way, Lucy and Ian are worried – this is getting ugly – very ugly –Lucy decides someone must do something – it has to be her! She [pretends] to go off in a dead faint – Ian grabs her [you guess where?] around her waist to keep her from falling. Ian explains that she has been overcome with grief.

This actually works as a distraction and [with a little ‘scoot’ shove by Kevin] Livvie makes her break [no, she did not grab the Backpack O’ Blood] – Jamal wants for follow but Kevin and Rafe hold him back [guess how?]

Rafe tells Jamal that Liv is not worth dying for – but Jamal runs after her anyway.

Elizabeth must think that she IS worth dying for as she then decides that someone has to go after her, and it might as well be her, but Kevin grabs her [around the waist] and stops her

R: [yells] she murdered the love of my life! This is my kill!

He runs off. Kevin, hands full of Elizabeth waist [which sounds disgusting] has no way to stop him, but yells “Leave her alone!”

Elizabeth, taking the low road, pushes against Kevin’s stab wound [remember it’s taken a beating tonight already] and he lets her go and grabs his shoulder

Elizabeth yelled at Kevin [who forgave her for STABBING him for cryin’ out loud] that she thought he realized what a monster his daughter had become!

Kevin tells her that he thought she understood that BOTH of their daughters were victims!

Kevin now goes after Rafe who went after Jamal who went after Livvie.

Elizabeth was going after the ones who went to get the ones who went, but Ian [who has NOT been stabbed, and has two good arms to grip you with my dear – grabs Elizabeth about the waist, while still keeping the other propping up Lucy. What a man!

Lucy and Ian and Elizabeth leave, arm on waist and arm on waist.

Casey: That went well [ROTFLMAO] this is SO not what Alison was about. [Aw! She ruined it.]

[BTW, as much as I disliked the memorial – this ensemble work is terrific – one of the things that you can still watch PC – oops! VC for]

[Now we find Jamal Into the Woods and alone.]

[[The rest from talking having restored his ability to mourn some more, he begins [like Clint Eastwood* to Talk to the Trees. And I dunno about you, but the rest of the song fits for me but no one listens to me]


Jamal: [as if talking to Alison] Well, I did it – I said all the words – I said good-bye, Alison – so damn hard I’m never going to see you again [KE is Super in this, even if I don’t like more mourning over Alison] [now we get flashbacks of Alison and Jamal, Jack, in past fun days] I miss you baby, I’m really going to miss you



[Cave Dwellers] [Caleb is carrying Alison into the cave [over his shoulder an arm about – well, you know] as she screeches for him to let her down – she REALLY does want Josh to catch her, doesn’t she?

He dumps her on the ground [per her request]

Alison: Thank you SO much – I know how much you want people to bite you – thought you’d like a pinch, too. [And she claims that she has no sexual motives where he is concerned] All I want to do is be left alone

C; why do I even bother with you – and you thought you’d make things better by telling Livvie I kissed you!?

Alison: It wasn’t that kind of a kiss

C: and YOU are going to explain that to Livvie when she gets back. You know, I’m about THIS close to turning you over to Josh myself! [Go with that thought, Caleb]

Alison: [remember how all her friends waxed over her compassion and understanding, says] you’re barely even human, so I don’t expect you to understand what I am going through.

C; you want to talk about frustrations! I used to BE someone! Look what I am now - I’m a babysitter for you! Worst of all, I have no idea where Livvie is right now!

Alison: [snotty] well, you probably shouldn’t have left us alone!

C: I was trying to get antidote for Olivia!

Alison [still snotty] Rafe told you there was no antidote!

C: [repeats mocking] Rafe told you there was no antidote [LMAO – this is great] you know – I think I liked things better when I was trying to kill that guy!

Alison now gets all bratty/snotty and goes off on how he really didn’t care about finding and antidote and how he must “Admit the reason you went to find Joshy” was about chest thumping and ego [more or less] That he went to find Josh to show him who the REAL boss is. He disagrees. She then extents the theory that it’s not just him – all guys are a bunch of macho idiots! [Hey – I know some guys who aren’t macho!]

C; gives her the “I’m from Mars” look you’d expect from a macho idiot.


[Club Josh – The Elixir]


[(Joy!) – Frank returns]

Frank pauses outside and gets his flashback for the day


It’s about Josh convincing Frank to become a vampire and then Frank turning Victor and then Karen giving Frank ‘heck’ [isn’t that redundant] for becoming a vampire and how he is about to lose his soul. Frank tells her that being a vampire makes him feel stronger, better [the six-million dollar vampire?] Karen is shocked and begs him to tell her that he’s not one of them! And her realization that he is

[Frank is done with his flashback, and he turns and enters the club]

[Josh is working on a pad of legal paper, but turns to Frank]

Josh asks Frank how the ceremony was and if there were any surprises [no, I think pretty much everyone saw what was coming today]

Frank explains that Rafe, Lucy and Elizabeth were crying and “It’s real, boss” [ooooooh is Frank going to turn on the one who turned him!]

Josh bemoans –“what a pity – we would have been so happy together”

Frank asks Josh if the paper is “the list”

Josh tells him that they have turned all the key people they need and they are placed strategically all over town [surely not one of the Elves!?]

Frank wasn’t to know what is nest – Josh tells them that they need a few extra bodies on their side. Frank asks “You want me to do some recruiting?”

J: Exactly Frank - I declare tonight “Open Season” on humans [bwa-ha-ha!]


[Commercial]

*Paint Your Wagon

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PART IV


[Club Josh]

Josh is having a fine time sipping champagne with two lovely females when he decided to sip 'cham-pain' instead and takes turns biting each ones’ neck

[Meanwhile, back at GH, where Karen, the Keebler Elves and the (invisible Chris*) are seemingly the only doctors who work in the East Wing anymore, we see Karen walking purposefully to the coffee pot and talking to a med tech about their busy night. The technician tells her he has never seen so many DOAs down in the morgue. [Maybe they had to sit through the Memorial, and it just looks like they died?] He tells her it is like an epidemic.


[The tech leaves, and Frank enters – this has been a good day, Frank and Kevin and Caleb’s wit]

Franks asks to speak to Karen, but she tells him she has her hands full with patients [Gee, it looks like a coffee cup from here]

She mentions that her patients seem to be missing their blood. And how could she ever have loved him? [That’s it – overwork has blinded her]

[Just then Kevin walks up – Kevin and Frank in the same scene – now I'm blinded by all the pulchritude]

Kevin tells her he thinks he may have torn a couple of stitches [LMAO – yeah – the same way he ‘accidentally’ got stabbed – Elizabeth strikes again (pun intended)]

Frank tells Kevin that they were ‘talkin’ here’, but Karen tells Frank that they were done. And “At least someone I can help tonight” she and Kevin leave and


So do we – we go back Into the Woods with Elizabeth and Lucy and Ian – Elizabeth is ranting (like mother, like daughter) about how it’s her job to get revenge and can Lucy and Ian spare some silver bullets** for her – she tells them they have to help her.


Lucy thinks that they should not let Elizabeth remain clueless in this one area and Ian agrees, “I think we should put her out of her misery” [Oh boy!]


Elizabeth whines and Ian ruins it by saying that “no one is going to kill ANYONE”

Lucy and Ian dither about a bit, LUCY wanting to get a promise of secrecy from Elizabeth [use the Cone of Silence?] and Elizabeth pretty much whining some more and LUCY telling IAN that it’s not a ‘spit out thing’ to tell and This isn’t a spit it out thing, and how Elizabeth must make her [most excellent] promise not to tell …and Elizabeth tells LUCY “Pleas – I lost my daughter – don’t lecture me!

So then IAN just spits it out: “Alison is alive!”

Elizabeth [who is… you know …] what are you talking about?!

LUCY: Alison is alive.


[Cave Dwellers – Alison and Caleb]

Caleb is still trying to explain that going to Josh was not an ego trip – he was trying to get a cure

Alison disagrees and says he was trying to throw his weight around because Rafe and Joshy still have powers and he doesn’t [rub it in, why don’t you?]

C; Here I thought you were the shy quiet type [How on EARTH did he get THAT idea? He must be listening to the cheering section at the memorial, not her]

She then tells him that he has a better power that everyone wants – he is a Rock Star [Bleeeeeaaaaah – Where was she when brains were passed out?]

C; [thinks as highly of this as I do, as he gargles his bottled water while she explains… Alison wonders aloud what kind of response that is He tells her that he doesn’t know – he’s just losing it.

She laughs and he spits water on her. They both laugh. [This is grossing me out more than the Backpack O’ Blood, now.]
I really needed that bath

Naturally, as Rafe [followed by Livvie] enter, Alison and Caleb are yucking it up over how she needed the bath … har har

Alison seems amazed to see Rafe & L. Livvie is NOT amazed or amused. She tells them that she is sorry she interrupted their little party.

She goes over and sits down while Alison gives Rafe a big hug [Rafe does not look as thrilled as normal]

Liv: in case anyone was wondering – I managed not to be lynched by half the town….

R: that wouldn’t have happened if you’d stayed put! Stay put that was the PLAN, if I recall!

Liv: you know what, Rafe? I think you’re yelling at the wrong person here – you might want to talk to your sweet little angel here, Alison. [Man-o-man –this IS “Into The Woods” now they are doing the part about assigning blame! ] She’s the one who kissed Caleb!

Alison: NO! I didn’t kiss him! He kissed me!

R: Whaaaaaat?!

Alison: it’s not what you think – [to Liv] and stop making this into a big thing

R; [ignoring Alison, moving to Caleb] you come near her again …….

C: What? You are going to kill me?

R; tosses down the Backpack – yeah – I’ve just waiting for an excuse!


[Back Into the Woods]

{Fountain]

Casey explains to Jack, Reese and Ricky that they shouldn’t be alone tonight, but should just chill at Jamal’s crib – they all agree and then Jack looks around and asks – but where is Jamal?


[Meanwhile, back in the morgue]

[Dr algaser [sp?] is being paged as the medical technician pushes in a gurney with a [full] body bag on it]

The technician tells the bag: “John Doe number 5 – rest in peace, Buddy” [Does No One carry ID in VC?]

He Leaves. The body in bag sits up unzips himself. Surprise [not] it’s Jamal!

[* I am determined to work him into the recaps, even if he can’t be on the show]

[**no, that’s the loan arranger (at the bank) Ha ha]


END OF PART IV


Scenes:


[Casey, Ricky, Jack and Reese]


Ricky: we tried his cell, his house, and bike shop he doesn’t answer – you can’t talk to a guy who doesn’t want to be found!

[Into The Morgue]

Jamal looks about as he rubs the bite marks on his neck

[Cave Dwellers]

Livvie [to Caleb]: why don’t you just tell me the truth – are you and Alison sleeping together?