Daily Updates

Port Charles Update for Wednesday, 3-Sep-2003

September 3, 2003



[open with Alison at the Barn, vowing never to cry again [I wish I was there – I’d take that bet and give 8 to 5 odds and make a mint when the waterworks started again]

Caleb [is ‘there’ but with the miracle of TV magic and special effects is not “really” there (on PC’s budget, that means EH pretends not to see or hear him) ]


She moans [aloud] that she was stupid to ask for Caleb’s help and should never have even asked for it. Caleb agrees – she says she will never make that mistake again- Caleb thinks she will]

Alison realizes [as did I – GMTA] that it was stupid – and Caleb agrees – so we are all in concurrence.

Alison also [out loud (again) so Caleb can hear her)] that since Rafe made it back from Heaven he will surely make it back from hell [and your’ logic is???? Is that not like saying since he made it back from “Fantasyland to Cinderella’s Castle” he will make it from Iraq to Qatar?]

Alison, [who must have been watching Peter Pan II Return to Never land and is indulging herself in the fantasy that she IS Tinker Bell] tells us [and Caleb] that if she believes it will; be so. – And BTW, her faith will move mountains [because she is so GOOD, I guess. Bleah]


Caleb starts fooling around, making the door open and wind blow [ah! The fantastic special effects budget, again] and Alison darts about calling: “Rafe? Rafe?” Alison is not entirely clueless, however, she is just pointed in the wrong direction – she speculates that it’s not a coincidence – but then assumes that the wind blowing the door open in their special barn means Rafe is coming back to her*.


[*and people wonder why this show was cancelled]


[Meanwhile, in Hell – not real – but an incredible simulation (they have gone all-out and put a red filter over the camera lens)]

Rafe is lying face down on what looks much like a [very red] floor or Caleb’s cave. Much screaming is taking the place in the background [I’m presuming that it is the sound of PC fans watching the NeverEndingWedding, Part II]


Rafe pulls himself to his feet, commenting ‘what the hell – and oh – that is it exactly – my plan – I need the answer.’ He mutters to himself that he will get the ring and “it will be OK, Alison” [oops! He was talking to Alison, but since he is [apparently] NOT using Verizon, she can’t “hear him now”.

Just as he gets to his feet and announces that this is “much better” he falls back on his Keester, again.

He shouts that he ‘gets’ it that “you don’t like me down here”.

[The Devil] answers: you have broken the rules, Slayer! [CC just labels it “voice”]

Rafe says: I didn’t think there were any rules down here!

Voice/Devil: MY rules!

Rafe says he is not leaving until he is told about the ring [so there]

The Devil voice says: Rafe Kovich, vampire slayer, defender of light – you have made a very big mistake!

Back at Caleb and Livvie’s love nest, Livvie is pondering that Caleb will be mad if he knew she had the ring, and that he doesn’t use it, so why shouldn’t she and then….. She wishes for a glass of lemonade – it’s appears [OK, not on camera, but she sits up and it’s there, where no lemonade was before [and who else besides me thinks that the writers were really, really not trying very hard when they came up with this as her first wish?] She mutters that all her wishes are going to come true …

Then [aha!] Caleb is there, asking, ‘do you really think so, Olivia?

Livvie looks [appropriately] like she’s sucked on a lemon as she sees him and answers: Caleb?

[Credits]


Livvie stutters and stammers around, mainly trying to avoid the subject while simultaneously finding out what Caleb has overheard.

Caleb is cagey and almost angry, but he does not confront her openly about her having the ring. He does drink her lemonade and asks her about making wishes. She blusters about having a dream and how she wants to make his wishes come true.

He lays it on think [hint, hint] that they don’t need to make nay wishes at all – and let’s talk about the ring. She tries to put it onto Alison’s inquiry about the ring, but he says it’s about her and the ring. He tells her to take a good look at his ring [on his hand] he says she should take his ring and make a wish – and oh [BTW] the ring never fails.

[Back to the barn, Alison is now wondering why it is so cold in there, but [cut to Hell] Rafe is looking hot [not the ‘good’ hot, the hot as Hell, hot] and saying that he had no choice, he HAD to go to Hell….

The Devil Voice answers him: you should have listened to Alison [heir apparent to the Church of Lambertology and BigBlondeDot Extraordinary]

Rafe wants to know what Alison has to do with his going/not going to Hell [have you got a few hours? I’ll tell you…]

Devil Voice: You should NEVER have left her [bwa-ha-ha!]

Rafe [pi-ty-ful, just pi-ty-ful [see: Jed Clampett: Quotes for all occasions] I’m sorry – if my coming has put Alison into some kind of danger – I’m sorry – send me back – I shouldn’t have broken into Caleb’s home – I’m sorry – punish me! Do whatever you want to me – but LEAVE ALISON alone, please, please, please!

[No answer, not even a busy signal]

R: Come on, where the Hell are you?! Answer me!!!

[Answer] “Whap!” Rafe hits the dust.


[Commercial]

[Electrosol gel packs – and the “Jetson’s theme” – but I find they don’t dissolve as promised] [LOL – can you tell that Rafe and Allie don’t hold my interest, I’m critiquing commercials!]


[Meanwhile back at the barn, Alison is grousing about feeling helpless and not being able to do anything [so why should NOW be different than the rest of her years on the show, I hear myself asking?]

She wraps a blanket about her shoulders and ‘talks to Rafe’. She says she know he thinks he did the right thing, but what if he never comes back, and then remembers that she was not going to be such a downer and whine and cry and stops herself: “don’t do that – don’t do that – think about Rafe – and the last time you guys were together [and then we get a flashback [bleah] of scant days earlier when she told Rafe that she was right and he should do what she tells him, and now she repeats herself – she says she ‘has’ to do this’………

[but we don’t see anymore of ‘this’… we go to hell where the Devil Voice taunts Rafe and asks him if he can resist making just one wish…? Rafe assures the Devil voice that he can – just help him get the ring….. Devil voice taunts some more – “you would make another trip – leave Alison [poor, helpless Alison] alone AGAIN [bwa-ha-ha!] For the sake of the ring [Frodo would]

Rafe points out that Devil Voice has a short memory – that he sold his soul to save Alison and then they saved each other – they were meant to be together – her love and belief in him never wavered so there is NOTHING that Devil Voice can do that will make Rafe doubt their love [hmmmmm. Sounds like a challenge to me]

Devil Voice tells Rafe that he clearly does not understand the power of the Ring.


[Speaking of the Ring, Caleb is now urging Livvie to make a wish as he kisses her knuckles]

Livvie resists – Caleb says – why not do it – it will come true – Livvie sidesteps – and says it’s not her ring to make a wish on. Caleb says: one wish – anything your heart desires*


[All this talk is making me think of that Disney theme – you know it: *Tune of “When you wish upon a Star

When you wish upon a ring – makes no difference who has the thing;
Anything your heart desires will come to you.
Like a bolt out of the blue;
Devil voice will see you through ~
When you wish upon a ring, as Vampires do.

Fate’s not kind – it really blew my mind;
Tainted Love left me behind
I left this story.

If this soap could match my dreams;
We’d have more than hellfire screams ~
We could wish upon that ring that PC was renewed…..]

[Back to the show, Livvie is now saying that Caleb never has taken advantage of her, so she won’t take advantage of the ring [la-di-da…. Question: How can you tell when Livvie is lying? Answer: Her lips are moving.]


Caleb now says he wants to do something for Livvie: prove his love for her is as strong as her love for him – he begins a wish – she interrupts and wishes he 2would make love to her …. He says he doesn’t feel anything,… she says “of course you do” and kisses him. He responds, picks her up and carries her to the bed – tells her that it is the one thing she never has to wish for ……. More kisses and fade to commercial ……………….. [Hershey’s kisses …]



[Back from commercial, Caleb and Livvie are [apparently] nekkid, but essential parts covered in black sheets, in bed. Caleb is trailing his fingers on Livvie’s bare arm – Caleb accuses her of giving his ring to the ‘slayer’ and she jerks awake from the accusation. Caleb calms her and gets her back to sleep. Once she is asleep, he talks to her, telling her to rest, as it takes a lot of energy to lie like that [no pun intended, I think, thought they are lying in bed]


Livvie stays asleep as Caleb rants that he gave Livvie every chance to tell him the truth and [aha!] he knew the difference in rings – and now [he puts the True Ring in her jeans pocket] that she is going to have ONE chance to give the ring back – but if she makes that fatal wish …. [bwa-ha-ha!]


[Speaking of ranting, Rafe is yelling on the Devil voice to answer him!!! What does the ring have to do with Alison?!!

Devil voice explains that the fate of ‘everybody’ will soon be tied to the ring….

Rafe contradicts him: NO! Not [pure and precious] Alison! She wants nothing to do with it [though she spends major portions of her days thinking about it] No! He wants nothing to do with it – or anything down there!!


Devil Voice: How little you know, Slayer!

[Back in the Barn, Alison is setting a fire in a trash can so she can have some heat.] She mutters that she can ‘do this’.


[We go back to Hell]
R: what are you trying to tell me?! What’s Alison trying to do?!

[Alison, in barn]
A: Father of Evil, hear my plea – I will do anything –and I mean anything – to follow Rafe – I choose to follow Rafe where ever he is

[Hell]

Devil Voice: What are you feeling NOW for your sweet Alison?

Rafe: She’s in trouble – that’s what I’m feeling I feel like she is in a lot of trouble – what in the Hell are you doing to Alison!?

Devil Voice: I have done NOTHING! Look to yourself, Slayer [are they saying anything that happens to Alison is Rafe’s fault?]

[Barn] A: This is not working – what are the exact words that Rafe used – what did he say?! What did he say [Man! This couple needs Verizon – or at least Nextel]

[flashback bleah! Bleah!]
Rafe [shirtless, so, OK] Father, I’m here –share with me your wisdom. Let me reclaim what’s ours – our legacy – it’s my right to have it back – my right as your son

[Alison begins to repeat his words ….]

Rafe begins begging Alison not to do what she is doing – he tells the Devil Voice to ‘forget it [he needs a ‘do-over’] and to forget the ring – Devil Voice wins! Just send Rafe back to Alison, please!


Devil Voice: Too late Slayer! MUCH too late!

Rafe gets ‘magically’ slammed against the wall and screams for Alison as we cut to Alison [in a pose like she’s on a cross [I am NOT making this up!!] Seeing the door open – she jerks her head toward it, startled and the show is


Over]