Daily Updates

Port Charles Update for Wednesday, 17-Sep-2003

Sept 17, 2003



[Open with The Country Restaurant, Madea, her large goon (I don't know his name) and Jamal are there. Jamal is tied to a chair, unconscious]

Madea: Rise and shine, sugar.

[Jamal does neither, one because he can't [tied to chair, remember?] and the other because, I guess, he just doesn't feel very shiny at that moment. He does, however, regain consciousness]

He looks about him and sort of leans forward, but the goon grabs him and shoves him back.

Jamal asks if Madea drugged him or something [RELLY not shiny today, nor bright]

Madea, rummaging through Jamal's wallet, tells him he was sticking his nose in where it did not belong.....'Mr. Jamal Woods'

Jamal says he was not exactly honest about that [his name]

Medea wants to know if Jamal thinks she was born yesterday...

He says 'no, ma'am' and he isn't there for no trouble

But Medea doesn't want to be ma'amed and tells him she thinks 'they' sent him

Jamal says nobody sent him and he is just there looking for Imani

Medea leans close "well, you just gave me the wrong answer [buzz!] [but, before Don Pardoe can tell us what lovely parting gifts Jamal has won, we cut to Reese and rIcky in the Elixir

They are discussing how they really did get fired from the band and how they are lucky Caleb let them leave with their lives [and why, did he, I wonder?] and now they go back to life in the slow lane? [rIcky says]

Reese pulls [I am NOT making this up] two airplane tickets out of the bodice of her dress [and I thought most girls used Kleenex] they are tickets to London. Turns out Reese has a lead to where her Mum might be [in the black hole Vortex of lost characters?] and she wants rIcky to help her search.

And they can go as long as they want as the tickets are open ended [it IS the Black Hole Vortex of Lost Characters [i.e. Canada]

Reese is excited about how this is a whole new life for them - but then she gets a call on her cell phone and moves away as Casey shows up [so to speak] She tells rIcky that he can go with Reese if he wants to [I'm for it - now] but Casey won't be going along [she's seen Niagara, already]

[but we are left waiting on pins and needles [yawn] for rIcky's answer as the show cuts to Rafe and Alison on their bed]

Rafe tells Alison good morning and she is beautiful -- he says that their last night was amazing - perfecto - and kisses her again. She can't kiss him back, and tells him so.

He is confused and asks 'can't what?"

Alison explains how they work so perfectly together as they never tell each other lies - and something happened while Rafe was gone - she slept with Caleb! Rafe is shocked, but we move onto the credits.......



Back at the Country Restaurant, Jamal is explaining to a disbelieving audience of two how he is a friend of Medea's granddaughter's, and how they have to believe him]
Medea, who was NOT born yesterday, also explains to Jamal that she did not just fall off a turnip truck. And that everything he said about researching his family tree was a crock and why did he have to lie?

Jamal explains that if he showed up asking 'where's Imani" they would have probably put a shotgun to his head [this is SO much better?] But he and Imani are friends, really truly, and he is part of the reason why she left [PC]

Medea [who is thinking what I was thinking about that last remark - and who was born at night - but not last night- remember] asks: Is that so?

Jamal [not only NOT shining, but getting duller by the minute] says "I didn't mean it like that" [and 'aw, come on' echoes here, though he did not actually say it]

Jamal babbles out that he knows about the dirty cop, the murder and that Imani didn't do it [Am I right in thinking that Jamal is the ONLY one who believes this story? How did Jamal GET to the restaurant: by Turnip Truck?]

Medea: You sure think you know an awful lot, don't you? Enough to be talking out of both sides of your mouth [do you get the feeling that whoever is writing Medea's dialog has "1001 Clichés for every Occasion" on their reference shelf?] [she sits down] But you still haven't given me a reason to believe you...

Jamal: I'm - - I'm telling you the truth [the Harvard Debating Team should not bother to check his application for membership]

Medea: so all this about your grandmother cooking for you and learning how to bake pies....?

J: that's true.... every word

M: Oh, yeah. You a country boy? [John Denver?] You at least from the South?!

J: Does South Philly count? [Is he getting wise-mouthed, or can he possibly be serious?]

M: [stands, turns away] I've heard enough

J: Just ask her - ask Imani about me - she'll tell you that I would never hurt her, ever. That is, if she's [looking around] if she's here....

M: Well, I'm not saying she's here - and I'm not saying if she isn't - and I wouldn't ask her if she was

J: I'm just worried about Imani - that's it - I just want to find her.

M: So you say. The trouble is, if you found me - it's only a matter of time before you find her, and I am not going to let that happen ...[ she looks at the goon [really, Jamal with that doofy hat and that 'large' goon are flashing me back to the Cosby kids Fat Albert and Weird Harold]

The Goon grasps Jamal about the neck with his fists and helps him to his feet.

J: gack!

I: [the door opens and Imani enters] Jamal!

[back at Rafe and Alison's confession time...

Rafe [Gack!] You had sex with Caleb?! Is this some kind of joke? [no, if she was joking, she would ask: what do you do with an elephant with 3 balls?*]

Alison explains that it is no joke and that nothing about it is funny. But Rafe was gone and something happened....

Rafe: Stop [stands, wipes his face] I mean... you had... you let him.... gack .... you...

[Rafe can't find the words, so he kicks something, hard: WHACK!]

A: I'm sorry, Rafe.

R: I don't understand

A: [getting up] It's not like it sounds, I mean the ring was involved and Livvie made a wish for her and Caleb and I was with him at the time..... [pour a little more gas on that simmering fire, why don't you, Allie?]

R; [chokes out] you were - - were with.... him?!

A; I was just trying to beg him to bring you back to me - back from where you were

R: wait a minute [they sit] you had sex with Caleb when you were trying to get me released...

A: It was Livvie's wish and I didn't know what I was doing [A Clinton supporter? She didn't know it was intercourse .] And Caleb didn't know what he was doing....

[Rafe buries his face in his hands [so we don't see that the actor is smiling at the ridiculous lines?]

A: I didn't know how to find the words to tell you what I had done - I didn't know how to say it [Rafe is sorting of rocking back and forth now] [his hands are shaking and he keeps twisting them - this is VERY well done] I didn't know how to tell you that I had sex with someone else [for someone who doesn't know HOW to tell him, she sure is able to repeat it many times]

A: This is killing me [and it's all about you NOW, isn't it, Allie?] Rafe, can you ever forgive me? Can you?

Rafe jumps to his feet and runs to the couch, where his jacket lies - he grabs it [even in a blind rage, we don't forget to button up] and vows to kill Caleb!

A; [weakly] no, no [Rafe has now gone to the closet and gotten out his Slayer toolkit]

R; I'm going to kill him for what he did to you! [heading for the front door]: he's never going to touch you - or anyone else - again!

A: you promised me that it was over!

R: That's right - because you can't have a war with a dead vampire [um... I thought that by definition, vampires were dead, but I get your meaning] I'm not going to stop until he takes his last, poisoned breathe!

[Rafe leaves, and we see Alison screeching at him from their doorway: I'm sorry! Don't do this! He's going to kill you! Please! Come back to me, please!

[but... it has all been a dream, we see now as we fade to Alison's horizontal face as she mutters [in her sleep] don't go - I should have told you - [Rafe is bent over her with concern on his face as he wakes her up] about Caleb - I shouldn't have told you...

[and we fade to commercial and I fume that PC has chosen to take some of our LAST PRECIOUS moments and waste them on a STUPID DREAM instead of something worthwhile [like more K&L]

*walk him and pitch to the Rhino [see Hot Shots]


[Outside the Elixir, rIcky is being chased by Casey*, who warns him that if he goes off with his musical "cupcake," [is she the Hostess at the Elixir? ] he can kiss Casey good-bye]

rIcky says 'as opposed to kissing a real girl?'

Casey: Gack! you call that real!? Please rIcky, I'm real [she gestures [I am not making this up] toward her bosom with her hands [honestly - I wouldn't count those airline tickets as stuffing, even though I did make a joke about it, Casey!] rIcky! rIcky! It's you and me, just like always [it is, too, which explains the ratings, sez I]

r: no no no no no no - before it was hard enough just to be in love with an Angel, but at least you were flesh and blood! At least for a little bit! But now - this isn't good for me! [me either, see 'ratings comment, above']

C: Do you love Reese?

r: no - but I like her a lot ok - and maybe that's good enough for now

C; you are saying you would rather be with someone who you like than with the woman who loves you?! LOVE! Tell me - how does that make any sense!? That doesn't make any sense!

r: I never stopped loving you...

C: Prove it! Tell Reese that she will have to kick it with Big Ben by herself and to LEAVE YOU ALONE! Do it, rIcky, if you really love me! [Is rIcky's last name Bates? "Norman! Norman, tell that woman to go away!" [see: Psycho]]

[Reese's voice comes from behind rIcky]
R: Oh, rIcky - you're doing it again - you're talking to Casey! Aren't you? You know, I made it pretty clear I want to be with you [Clear? Windex should do such a good job]

r: me, too

R: this is driving me crazy [she should be catching up with him by the 30th then, don't you think?]I can't handle it.

r: I know it's not easy...

R; you have a choice: reality - or - Fantasyland! [One last plug for the Parent Company] you have to make your decision now!

[gee, being whipped by fiction or factual girlfriend, what will he choose!?]

[Speaking of being whipped, we go now to check up on Jamal, still tied up, but at least it's literally.]

Madea explains to Imani [while Imani enters and puts down her purse] that she and Junior [Barnes? ] have Jamal handled and he won't hurt her.

Imani goes to Jamal and releases him from his bonds - she tells Madea that Jamal is her friend.

Jamal tells Imani that he tried to tell Madea the same thing, and Imani tells Jamal that Madea is kind of stubborn..

... and Madea tells Jamal and Imani that she is not deaf [Cliché number 996, page 502] and that they should not talk about her like she's not there [page 308]

Imani tells Madea that she is sorry and then tells Jamal that he is, too, for following her there. Jamal, who loses no chance to endear Madea to him, now, tells Imani [with the undeaf Madea RIGHT there] that he got there last night and was then drugged and left tied up in a chair all night.

Madea explains that she 'just' knocked him out and hog-tied him [she did not really hog-tie him, but it was the best 'tying' cliché in the book] and that 'he "ain't the none the worse for it"

Junior: [finally gets a line - and a boost in pay according to the rules of SAG] he wasn't a problem, not even a bit.

I: Thank you, Junior. There's no reason for you to stick around, but thank you for all your help.

J: yeah, thanks, man. Appreciate it, Dude [is this Fresh Prince of Bel Aire Meets The Beverly Hillbillies, or what? LMAO]

[Junior leaves [and manages to knock Jamal slightly forward as he passes behind him - this is cute]]

Madea: Are you sure this boy is OK?

I: He's fine.

[Madea moves away from Jamal and Imani [but not so far that she [undeaf] can't hear this:

J: you're right, she is stubborn

Imani asks Jamal why he came there, he says he was worried about her and could not just let her take off like she did, and then Imani says: that makes two of us [?] and then she asks how he found her as no one was supposed to know where Madea moved.

Jamal swears that no one has followed him - and explains that if she showed the picture taken in front of that place ....

Imani asks him if that is how he found her [from the picture] She says she never should have shown it to him and that he did a stupid thing [just one?]

J; [looks real cute here] it's good to see you, too.

[she smiles and they hug] [the camera pans to Madea who looks unhappy [or - as page 47 puts it: not exactly jumping for joy] at their embrace.....

Speaking of embraces... we move on to - or back to - Rafe and Alison who are [deja vue] getting out of bed...

Alison is all shook up, and Rafe comforts her by telling her that it was 'just a dream' and that he has 'got her' and is hugging her while she mugs faces of angst over his shoulder for the camera [sorry if I sound short about this - but we really have been - there - and - done - that already over this sex with Caleb thing]

Rafe [of course] wants to know what the dream was about and quotes her as saying "I shouldn't have told you about Caleb" and Alison lies through her BigBlondeDot Teeth - again - and says she can't remember.

Furthermore, she says she doesn't want to talk about it - why would anyone want to talk about something that was upsetting - and she's wants to forget about it - but that she will make breakfast....

Rafe tells her that he thinks he knows what the problem is....

this gives Alison a jolt [but not me - you? ] he then [no surprise here] explains that it must mean she still can't believe that the whole war between him and Caleb is over - and that he doesn't blame her... because every time he says it is done, something happens to set the whole thing in motion again .....[blah blah blah]

A; [not facing him] I know - and I never would want that to happen again, [as she has NO confidence in his Slayer abilities, and really why should she?] and...

And Rafe explains that the pendant that he gave to her was his for his whole life and was given to him because it represented his destiny as a slayer- and that he gave it to her [doesn't this sound really, really familiar?] to show that for the first time in his whole life he is choosing his own destiny. And he chooses her.

Alison [tears swimming in her eyes - she should be careful or that self-pity will ruin her mascara] turns to Rafe and tells him that is all she ever wanted...

Rafe now apologizes to her [again] that he did 'this' to her

She explains that it's 'not' him - he didn't do anything wrong [moves in and hugs him so we can see her face over his shoulder again] - that she is the one who let him down......

fade to commercial - just in time, before they went over it again Whew!


*Zoe (and other fans (both of you) of SuperKat and SleeveGirl) note: Casey has Brenda's old shirt

[Back outside the Elixir, Reese asks rIcky [who gets to choose his own destiny, also, but only from a list of two possible choices, I guess] what shall it be? The real thing or Memorex?]

[Which is kind of funny, really, because the point of those Memorex commercials was: you can't tell the difference. But, [as so often when it comes to AllThingsrIcky, I digress]]

rIcky shakes his head [no sound] and Reese says; Gack! My God - you actually have to think about it! [be glad we don't have smell-o-vision]

r: I'm sorry, ok?

R: Sorry! I'm losing out to a figment of your imagination! That's like losing out to a guy over a blow-up doll!*

r: I just can’t go with you right now, OK? [sits on bench by wall]

R: when!? Next week? [perhaps] Next month?! [Impossible] you're in love with a dead woman! [and it's the most real and rational love affair on the show if you think about it. Vampires and other spooks that go bump and growl in the night considered.]

R: Which would be understandable if you were trying to get over her - but you are giving up on life!

r: I have to do what feels right here, OK?!

R: [yelling] What feels right is YOU in a STRAIGHTJACKET in a padded cell! [GMTA?] [Or Mr. Green in the Conservatory with the lead pipe?]

r; [awareness dawns] you're angry...

R: [tearing up] Just forget it! I'm leaving! [and she does]

rIcky smacks hands on bench [thwap - funny how hollow that stone sounds [] and stands and paces forward] Big sigh. Casey approaches and whups him upside the head [thwack]

C: hey!

r: Ow!

C: have you completely lost your mind?!

r: What are you talking about? I just did what you asked me to do.

C: you have no idea [guy walks by, bumps into her] Dude! Watch it, man!

dude: sorry [continues on, leaves scene]

C: do you have ANY idea what you've done?!

r: [awareness dawns - twice in one day - a miracle for rIcky] He saw you! he bumped into you like - like you were there!

C: I am really here

r: but normally no one can see you

C; the girl you been talking to definitely isn't me - and you know what? Frankly, I'm pissed at you [Angelically pissed, of course -so dainty this Angel] because the girl you conjured up is pretty nasty [not like this one, no not at all]

r; [duh] what are you trying to tell me - the girl I have been talking to for the past two weeks isn't really you? But you are you?

C; [grabs his face and kisses him] oh baby, you are so cute, but the bulb doesn't burn too bright up there, sometimes [sometimes?!] Baby, I'm the real thing [she's Coca-Cola] and you have a lot of explaining to do. [maybe he's a Pepsi Man?]

[before this, and other questions I don't care about, are answered, we go to Jamal and Imani (and Madea, in background). Imani apologizes for leaving PC the way that she did. ]

She explains that she didn't want to put Jamal in any danger. He tells her that since she knows his story, she knows he's not afraid of any stupid sheriff. She says she can't afford any distractions - and she is asking him to go home.

Jamal asks if she is crazy and what kind of a man would he be if he left her to deal with all the craziness on her own? [one who's not wrapping his own masculine identity up in all the 'craziness'?]

Imani explains that they have managed ok so far [without a big, strong man?], but the big strong man pooh-poohs that idea - he remarks that they are on the run, her grandmother has had to move - he doesn't know how many times, and puts knock-out drops in her collard greens when things get a little weird. Jamal says that where he is from that is NOT "doing ok", sorry.

[Actually, I thought the drugged greens [etc.] were positively inspired compared to some of "Shaggy and Scooby's mess-ups back in PC, sorry]

Imani, rather than answer THAT, simply says it is nice to see him there.

Then Madea asks Imani to step over and speak to her. Imani does, and Madea tells Imani to 'tell the young man to leave," and that Imani knows that is the way it has to be.

Jamal [across the room, but also not deaf] says he doesn't know and he is not going anywhere.

I: I don't think he's going to....

M: not if you keep smiling at him that way ... [I am liking Madea more and more]

I: listen, I think it would be ok if he stays here. in fact, I kind of like the idea.

Madea: why?! [LMAO - at the look on her face]

I: because he came all this way to help me and nobody's ever done that before.

M: and if he sticks around, he is going to learn an awful lot. [meaningful look at Imani]

I: I will make sure that he doesn't. Please, I don't want him to leave just yet. Please. [very cute, very much granddaughter to grandma tone-ish]

M: I hope you don't live to regret this.

Imani kisses Medea's cheek and returns to sitting with Jamal.

I: Ok - you sure you want to do this?

J: [smiling at Medea - this is all very well done and quite entertaining] yep - but I'm a little hurt you never told your grandmother about me

I: there are just some things a girl can't explain, not even to her grandmother [she reaches across the table and takes his hands in hers and they smile at each other] I'd be really happy if you stayed.......

But we are not to remain in the happy south, we now cut to the unhappy Port of Charles where Alison's BigBlonde Unhappy face is still front and center in the camera over Rafe's shoulder as he explains [again]

R: ... you did not let me down. [I am shocked, as they actually cut to a shot of his face over her shoulder] when are you going to realize that my life is nothing without you?

A; [back to her] don't say that - don't say that

R: it's true. you're everything to me - you are - I'm sorry - I let so many things get in the way of the one thing - the one reason I have for being here - and that's you -

A; you know - I think I have just made so many mistakes - and I feel like I should be perfect, but I don't know how to do that [it doesn't matter, the writer's think you are, and that's all that has seemed to count]

R: we are what we are - and no body's perfect - but I'll tell you something - you and me together - we come pretty close - I tell you something else - I can't wait to marry you - it's the only thing I want [this is accompanied by many more shots of Alison's face over Rafe's shoulder]

A; Ok - so - so to practice being a perfect wife

R; no...

A: I mean, an imperfect wife - I will finally go make some pancakes.

R: OK - sounds good - I will go shave - don't want to scratch you up too much [as her face goes repeatedly to and fro to get over his shoulder and back]

A: that is so domestic [smiles till he exits, then we get a face-full of angst. Gee, if I didn't know better, I'd begin to suspect that she is upset....]

She puts her hand to her head and sits and we get MORE flashbacks of the Caleb-Alison LOVE fest. [Just in case we couldn't figure out WHAT was on her mind, making her feel so bad.]

[And THAT, dear pals, is the latest installment of our dwindling treasured minutes of PC. Don't get me wrong - it's better than [sob] no PC, but I just wish it all could have been as entertaining as [to me] the Jamal/Imani minutes were.

*Actually [digressing again] it's not. A blow-up doll is real. She never argues over how late you stayed out with they guys. You don't have to impress her parents, AND she doubles as a floatation device in the event of an emergency on long plane rides. Try THAT with an imaginary companion! Or even Reese, I should imagine.