Daily Updates

Port Charles Update for Friday, 3-Oct-2003

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[Open with Jamal waking up and sitting up on the floor of the Silverhill Café and Skillet- Wrestling bar. Jamal [the loser in the last Skillet-death- match] is groaning as he looks around and sees Holland covers on all the furniture. He puts his hand to his [doofy-hatted] head. [You think Madea could have spared one to cover Jamal – if only to help prevent shock]]

Jamal gets up and wonders aloud: “What’s going on here?” He wanders through the dark and empty restaurant calling Imani’s name. He gets no answer, so he calls for Madea. He doesn’t get any answer from her either. Finally he realizes: “It doesn’t look like they are coming back for me.” [Duh]

He heads toward the door and on his way finds a CLUE. Imani’s calendar with today’s date circled – Jamal [bright as a whip] immediately recognizes that it is today. What, he wonders, is it about today?

[Cut to Imani, running through the woods – she cries “I must get as far away as possible – and then – like every dumb woman in every dumb horror flick, she falls flat on her face to give the bad guy a chance to pounce on her.]

She gets on her knees and looks up [at the moon, is my guess] “OH no!” she cries. “It’s almost time!”

[At first I thought she was horrified about something to do with the moon – then I realized what it was time for – because we cut straight to L’ian, who are standing outside of the Mountainous Country Cabin]

Ian looks at [something – the scenery] as Lucy stands behind him with her arms around him.

L: what are you thinking? [Wondering if his SAG dues are up to date, maybe? Got to get those resumes out ….]

I: I’m thinking that I’m starting to believe in your universe [I’m thinking that her universe is a bunch of hooey]

[He turns around and grabs the front edges of the jacket she is wearing]

I: Giving up will never be an option. [They smile at each other]

L: Where there is love there is always hope. [Don’t believe it, we loved this show!] Always. [She brushes his cheek with her hand]

[Now he grabs the jacket again, but this time high up on the lapels – he uses it to draw her close and kiss her [Hummmmmmmmmmm]

[Rali in the BandB [from Hell]] Rafe has returned to the room and is getting his fancy wedding duds out. Alison is whining that she can’t find half her stuff. Rafe tells her that there is nothing wrong – she’s just nervous and she’s cute when she’s nervous.

Alison tells him he will whistle a different tune when she walks down the aisle liner less [gee, TIIC sure went to a deal of trouble to make these last moments special with this dialog, don’t you think? [ : - ( ]

Rafe tells her that she is going to cry it all off, anyway [Foreshadowing?]

Alison asks him if they did not agree that she should be getting ready all by herself – he tells her that he had to get his suit. Besides, he tells her, he is not going to see her until …. He Grins wide and nods ….

A: [grinning] We’re doin’ it!

R: yes – we are really doing this

A; we’re really doing this.

R: we’re really doing this – and nothing is going to stop us this time.

[These immortal lines “We’re really doing it” will ring in our hearts forever, now]

R: and this time it’s going to be perfect.

A; perfect.

R; Perfect.

[Big kiss]

R: Perfect.

[Kiss]

R: see you soon, Mrs. Kovitch

A: Almost Mrs. Kovitch.

[Rafe kisses her hand – which is an improvement over what he usually has to kiss – and leaves]

A: OMG – almost and will be finally.

[I am NOT making this up – each line was parroted back by the other one. Talk about lazy writing – oops! Adapting!]


[Now we are in the dark. I mean really, not figuratively – we are in Caleb and Livvie’s room in the BandB [from Hell] Caleb is leading Livvie into the room – no Annette in sight – he turns the lights on]

C: close enough?

L: this is better than I could ever dreamed!

C: I guess that means you like it?

L: Like it? I LOVE it. [Tell me that THEY aren’t going to do the parrot act, too!]

[Kiss]

C: I love you. If you love this, though, maybe you’d like a tour. [He leads her by the hand]

L: there’s more?

C: oh, there’s more… [Leads her out to the private patio] It’s your wedding night – all your dreams come true –all your wishes come true, tonight, sweetheart. [He stands behind her, putting his arms around her]

L: [looking at private patio] Wow, Caleb!

C: What do you think? What do you say – let’s do our vows right out here. The stars will be beautiful when the sun goes down. [He leaves her and foes to a rose bush and picks a [blood-red] rose for her] [He holds the rose out to her] What do you say to that?

L: [taking the rose] I think that it …Ow!... [Didn’t see that ‘pricks her finger on it’ coming, did we?]

C: sorry. Here, let me. [Sucks at the place where she bleeds on her hand]

L: I think it’s the best idea, ever.

C: so you’re glad you came?

L: glad [she parrots back] you have no idea – and I’m so sorry for ever doubting you.

C: I just want everything to live up to your expectations [sigh. If only TIIC of PC had felt that way about US.]

L: well, I wouldn’t change a thing! I think this is pretty much everything I could have ever wished for. And you are everything I could ever wish for [she punctuates this sentence with little kisses in between words]


[Big kiss]

L: I’m going to check out the rest … [she goes back into the room to scout for chocolates and little soaps and shampoos]

C: [Stands in the doorway [It’s HIS turn] You’re a dream come true, Olivia.

[Camera stays on Caleb’s face – he’s unreadable – we hear Livvie’s voice]

L: Caleb! Come look! [She found the chocolates?]

C: I can’t wait, Sweetness. [Or – I can’t wait: sweetness. If he likes chocolates] [stands straighter, nastier look on his face] I can’t wait. [But he does wait – in fact her turns back out onto the patio – holds up the rose] [Sniffs the bouquet] Everybody gets what they wished for tonight. [Everybody but 9/10ths of this audience, I expect.]

[Now Caleb – LMAO – EATS the rosebud. I mean it’s a fairly nasty snap of the jaws, but it’s too much for me.]


[Credits: Doesn’t KEVIN look marvelous?! Chris and Frank are especially adorable, too. I miss the old shot of Frank at the ambulance – that was my favorite. Oh – and the K&L pillow fight. Sigh.]




[Rali’s room, Alison sits at the dressing table, digging in her make up bag. She is now wearing a silky pink robe. Annette is in the room, bearing a tray upon which she tells Alison are some tea and cookies [last of the Keebler Oatmeal Scotchies – sob!]

But Alison turns her nose up at the “Gift’ of the Keebler Elves –she is too nervous to eat cookies – but thinks the tea sounds really nice.

Annette tells Alison that she looks beautiful – and asks her if she can help her with her dress. Alison [all jittery] explains that she’s not ready for the dress [she stands and jerks the chair/table] and she has to finish her make-up and her hair is not the way she wants it [its straight down] and she can’t get into her dress until she gets that done and yadda yadda yadda more of the same rattling on.

Annette tells her to slow down [No! She’s filling enough airtime with this jabber as it is!] Before she combusts [which might be more interesting than what I expect of today’s ep.]

Alison agrees, but wishes she could get rid of the butterflies in her stomach.

Annette tells her that she still has butterflies in her stomach as there are still things she is worried about. And if she will just realize that everything is taken care of the butterflies will fly away.

[Isn’t it a shame that Alison has to rely on a stranger to help her get ready, having no mother or grandmother or …. Hey! Wait a minute!]

Alison explains that she’s not really worried – but just wants the evening to be perfect.

Annette: It will be.
Alison: It will be.

Annette: I know that you have everything taken care of yourself – but if there is anything you can think of….

Alison: no

Annette: but if you and your groom want your ceremony to be private …
Alison: Thank you so much for everything you have done – and I know if we did need a hand – you would lend it to us. You have been so helpful. But this is the decision that Rafe and I have made together [meaning – she made it] and that’s just what we are going to do!

Annette: If you’re sure.

Alison I am sure – this is what we decided – to have it just the two of us – as long as we’re there, we don’t really need anybody else.

[Note: If you are wondering why I recapped such a tedious and pointless conversation between one character* [who we couldn’t give a rat’s patootie about – and another who is explaining something we have already heard half a dozen times, all I can say is that this is the Last Snarky recap and I thought ya’ll deserved to get the entire show. Every sparkling gem that TIIC thought should be their final ‘Gift’ to us. Shame they didn’t kiss us fist, is all I can say.]


*I swear she must be Frons’ niece or something.

[Let’s go check in on Rafe and [what joy! Pastor “Martha Stewart” is there [ANOTHER character who we have no commitment to and we could care less if we ever saw again except to officiate][BTW, Rafe is in the worst fitting get-up – I think maybe they starting selling off the wardrobe department too early]

R; and she’ll walk down the aisle. And we’ll be here [I sure am glad they are explaining how weddings work.

Martha: And I think I can handle the rest. Relax, Rafe – I meant what I said when I told you this marriage is blessed. I truly believe you and Alison are meant to be [and must repeat it for those of us who are STILL IRONING during this show and may have missed so much of the earlier dialog]

R: yeah – thanks – I hope she likes my wedding gift …

Pastor Martha: Like it? [She parrots back] She’ll be overwhelmed!

R: Happy – I want her to be happy [he parrots himself] Happy’s very important [no more so than Doc, Sneezy or the rest…]

Pastor Martha: very – very - very [triple parrots!] I promise she will love it. [Again, please] She’ll love it.

R; I hope so. I guess you know – I can admit to you now that I was kind of getting a little bit of cold feet about the whole thing – not about Alison – no way – not about marrying her – or any of that – but doing it here, now, today.

Pastor Martha: Are you still feeling this feeling?

R: Not really – I mean – now that I’m here – with you -in the room that I’m going to pledge my love to [~yawn~ if I fall asleep, just nudge me, somebody, all right?] to Alison and I know it is only moments – moments [yes, twice] away and I will finally- make her my wife, then –

Pastor Martha: You’re at peace. Finally.

R: yeah, I guess you’re right: I’m at peace. Wow. Huh. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think this wedding is going to go off without a hitch. [LMAO –he’s probably right – as MOST people want to GET HITCHED at their wedding] [BTW, I think they are getting married in one of the rooms of the Quartermaine Mansion [It’s her house – I gave it to her] only redressed.]

[I bet that the writers had some sort of bet on – to see how many times they could repeat the same words or phrases in a scene. Or it was a drinking game or something. This is stupefying.]

[Meanwhile, back at the Bat Cave, Batman and the Girl Wonder are ….. oh. It’s Caleb and Livvie’s room. My mistake.]


[Caleb is pouring himself a drink – I suspect a Rose wine – goes well to wash down rose petals]

L: It’s the perfect location – the perfect music, the gardens are beautiful

C: I hope you find all my choices are perfect.

L: choices [she parrots] like what? [He gives her the glass to drink from]

C: like the person I’ve chosen to marry us…

L: really, who is he? [Commissioner Gordan?]

C; A very old friend – someone I knew I could trust. [We hear knock at door]

L; well, when do I get to meet him?

C: should be any minute now. [Kisses her]

L: sounds perfect [Holy Perfection, Batman!] What’s his name?

C: Her name.

L: [gack] What?!

C; Not a he – a she. [He opens the door]

[Do we see:

a. Estelle, back from Europe and just in time to use her special recipe for the wedding cake.

b. Catwoman. Take your pick: Julie Newmar, Eartha Kit or Michelle Pfeiffer.

c. Connie – Ryan’s last girlfriend and she’s got a bomb strapped to her torso [she picked up some bad habits from Ryan about attending weddings]. But she has crocheted a nice doily for Livvie.

d. Annette – all dolled up with her hair teased.


And the survey says: Annette! Let’s hear it for the SoapZone Family who has won the Family Feud!]


[Annette, who really is all dolled up and wearing a black button up robe, [kisses Caleb] [we don’t see, but we hear the smackeroos] Caleb and then crosses the room and shakes hands with a still-in-Gack! Livvie]

A: [who now has a rather Bela Lugosian accent] Hello Olivia! Olivia – I am a net. [Funny, she looks like –oops- read “Annette”] And I have heard SO much about you [bwa Ha Ha!]

L: you have? [She parrots]

A: And it is so nice to finally meet you my dear. [The way she is holding and caressing Livvie’s, hand, she’s either a fortune teller or she finds her attractive – very attractive.][Interesting that Caleb is sort to nuzzling Livvie’s neck while Annette’s got her hand. [Leave it up to TIIC to give us some more of their versions of ‘romantic’ on the last show.]

L: very nice to meet you [she repeats] [Caleb is still o\sort of sniffing Livvie’s right ear/neck area]

A: So very nice [she says again] [Shakespeare, move over]

[Commercials]


[Jamal Woods – in the Woods [they repeat themselves even non-verbally today]]

J: Imani – I know that you were here – [HOW?] - I know you couldn’t have gotten too far [why not? You make it from Alabama to New York and back in just a few hours]

[Groaning and whimpering][No –it’s not me this time – it’s on screen!]

J: Imani, is that you?! [Runs to the source of the sounds]

I: [crouched down, clutching her innards] No, NO! Jamal Not here! Leave me!

[She scurries away, bent over]

J: What are you doing?! [Looks like Quasimodo] What’s wrong?! Let me help [he catches up to her]

[She is [more or less] on all fours – he’s behind her]

I: You can’t! [More scurrying] Ugh! Just GO AWAY JAMAL! WHILE YOU CAN! I’ll hurt you! Argh!

J: Come on – you’re already hurting me by shutting me out! [Tell her to take a positive attitude – what’s happening is a GOOD thing] Now, talk to me…

I: Can’t you see I can’t control this?! I can not stop this! Jamal – you have to - - -arghhh!

J: Imani – there is no way in Hell [he reaches for her] that I am leaving you like this [he lifts her to her feet] I mean there’s not…

[She pushes away from him]

I: No! Ow! Argh! If you won’t - - -

J: no!

I: Jamal! I’m begging you [and she is in the position to, she falls back on her knees, and then to all fours]

J: Imani – if you’d just tell me the truth, please [and like Elizabeth, who did not know when to SHUT the [heck] up with a thirsty vampire, I just think SOMEONE should shove a sock in Jamal’s mouth. Or that doofy hat would do nicely, too]

I: [pant, pant – she is facing away from him on all fours again] Jamal! If you want o know what’s going on with me – you’re about to see for yourself! Aiie, argh!

[But WE are NOT about to see – WE are going to the Wedding on the Patio [Spooky stuff]

[OMG! This is TOO funny – and I don’t think they meant it to be. I hope I can try to do justice - in words- to the sight that greets me now:

There are [blood-red] candles lighted and scattered about the Patio Of Doom. There is also a brazier ablaze almost behind: Livvie – who enters the Patio Of Doom decked out in true Goth Wedding attire. Black [or so dark it might as well be] lipstick. Black dress [cut to PG14 – but what else is new for her?] [Bouquet of Blood-red Roses, with – LMAO – black leaves and stems][I’d hate to see her hands now] being carried before her at tummy level] [she wears a black sparkly hanging down sort of necklace]

[Livvie looks bloodless and grim as she advances toward the Groom, whose back is to us.]

[There is at least on statue of a Gargoyle and something large and winged [statue] on the Patio Stones.]

[Cut to Caleb, close to Annette, who has added a [blood-red] stole to her black robe]

A: Lovely stock. But historically, the Morley’s have always chosen well. [She smiles and advances toward Livvie] Welcome, Olivia. [She reaches one hand to Livvie and draws her forward.]

L: Sorry. I’m - -

A: Worth waiting for. [She really does ‘like’ her.]

[Annette now pulls Livvie to be close to Caleb, who is in a [knock-off copy of Kevin’s] black leather sports coat]

A: My dark hearts [she takes the bouquet from Livvie – [no pricking] – I understand that you’ve written vows [Of course they have – the schlock would not be ‘perfect’ without them]

C: [we see two more braziers behind them now] we have. [He takes Olivia’s hands] The bride always goes first. [Hold me back – we are in for it now]

L: no, please, you go first

A: he’s right. It’s customary. [I can’t tell you how that Bela Lugosi voice makes this so over-the-top. The thing is, no one but Bela Lugosi ever has been able to do it and not make it sound laughable. This is NOT an exception, IMO]

L: Ok, then. Caleb. My Love. My insecurities might have destroyed us forever [but they only destroyed the entire show instead] I couldn’t trust what we had. I couldn’t trust that this moment would ever come. [The death of PC?] with al of my faults, you still love me. And that is the greatest gift you could ever give me. And that is why tonight form this moment on and the rest of time [um. Time? I think it’s about -13 minutes and counting down] I will never stop trying to find a way to show you how much I love you. Because I love you [she repeats] and I always will. [Tears stream down her face]

[ME misses his cue, but Annette reminds him:] Caleb, please. [OK, it was probably written this way for Caleb to balk at this point.]

L: Caleb. My love, what’s wrong? You look upset.

C: I’m not upset. Your words – that’s everything [T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-h-h-h-h-h-hat’s all folks!] to be loved the way you say you love me…

L: I do [that comes later] I meant ever word. I love you so much.

[He kisses her hand]

C: It’s my privilege. I’m the luckiest man alive [undead?] to have you as my bride. [More hand kissing]

[Meanwhile, at the redressed Q’s living room – I mean – the Wedding Room][Alison comes and stands in the DOORWAY –it’s HER turn!]

Pastor Martha: Looks like the moment of truth has arrived [ROTFLMAO – the moment of truth is when the bullfighter kills the bull! And the bull is completely being killed off today!]

[Rafe steps forward [big sigh][Alison walks forward][ she is dressed in a white version of Livvie’s dress – compete with LIGHT sparkly hanging down sort of necklace][She carries a bouquet of pink and more pink flowers] [PC: for the record – there IS such thing as taking the comparisons TOO far. When it results in an absolute REPEAT of the earlier version, for instance] [Pastor Martha is in a white robe with purple stole – instead of braziers, substitute flower arrangements]

Pastor Martha: Dearly beloved [at either wedding THERE ARE NO WITNESSES] we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Now, before we get to the heart and soul of the ritual [someone ALWAYs plays that on the piano] I want to make sure that neither one of you has any problems with going ahead with this wedding.

[Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!][My eyes! My Eyes! [Thank you Tammy! [TWO]] for just the right thing to scream here]

Pastor Martha: Alison? [Shakes head “no”] Rafe? [He pauses, but I think it’s to watch this Commercial: Beyond Borders - some movie –who knows?]


[Commercials: Zelnorm. For upset tummies. Have you noticed HOW MANY Antacid/tummy medicines were advertised during PC? Coincidence?!? I think NOT!]


[IN the Woods with Woods][Imani i on her feet, but bent over an leaning against a tree]

I: Don’t do this to you or me!

J: Do what, Imani?

I: you don’t have to stay around! You don’t have to se this!

J: See what?! What are you talking about?! [Sounds like: the end of this show.]

I: [points to the sky] look! {Is it the Bat-signal?!?!?!]

J: No, I’m not going to look! What? SO you can run away on me again?

I: no! Look!

J: NO, you answer my question!

I: I AM answering your question! Look! Look! [She repeats] tell me what you see!

J: fine [he turns his and looks up] what do you think I see – I see a moon – a full moon – a big fat round romantic full - -[on the third parrot of himself – he gives up –thank you, Jamal - ] Imani – come on – [he turns] he sees [Cooooooool! A real wolf – I wondered how they would do it!]

Imani/Wolf: Grrrrrrrrrrr!

[Back at the Q’s …. Wedding Room…..]

Pastor Martha: Rafe is there something the matter? [Give me several days and I will begin to tell you ….]

A: what’s wrong?

R: Nothing – I just – I was actually waiting for something that – well, it - - [in run Ian, Lucy, Elizabeth, Jack, and rIcky!] [Bleah. All of the people that I WANTED to see – NONE are in this crowd.]

L: we are here [and WHO CARES?!]

[All exclaim: we are sorry we are late – are you married yet –must do it over – yadda yadda]

[Elizabeth and Alison hug, talk]

Bull: Isn’t this exciting?! [Actually NO!!!!]

R: Now we can get started [argh –all over again? Sigh.]

Bull: Alison, you look so beautiful [the one line I appreciated, her husband telling her she looked beautiful.]

[All the guests take their places in chairs. Kevin is not there so who cares? Lucy, who does NOT care that her daughter may be home screaming with night mares of the red-blooded “Superman” and falling off a cliff, is all smiles with her boyfriend and why-did-I-volunteer-to recap-this-crap?!]]

A: you got them all here [NOT ALL!!!!!!]

R: You said you wanted it to be perfect …


[And the word of the day is: Perfect? I don’t think TIIC have a dictionary – they don’t seem to know the MEANING of the word: Perfect. Though they have Livvie and Alison tossing it around quite a bit.]

R: [continues] well, this is just the beginning [how ironic – it’s JUST the ending]

Pastor Martha: well, if we can get back to the wedding…

A; You said you wanted to make this day PERFECT and it is [not] it’s now perfect

R: almost - - [Kevin is missing]

A; almost [she PARROTS!!]

R: we’re not married yet….

A: almost [she PARROTs again!]

R: yeah, almost [he parrots HER parroting!]

[We go from the ridiculous to … well… the MORE ridiculous – Batman and the Girl Won… Caleb and Livvie]


[And BTW, for those who used to watch SCTV – ABC popped for a crane shot ]


A: Dearly Departed [that’s THE AUDIENNCE!] Here, shrouded in darkness, two heart of Ice stand at the edge of the chasm [ROTFLMAO!!] A bottomless leap from which you now take in tandem. Do you, Caleb Morley, [Hey!!! What happened to HIS vows?!?!] the last of your line [and who repeats your line] hereby willingly take Olivia Locke Collins vowing to wander the Earth, hand-in-hand, until the last dying of the Light? [Must not be using the Energizer Bunny battery!]]

[And THIS is the LEGAL ceremony that Caleb promised Livvie? LMAO!!!]

[Cut to Rali]


A: to love and to comfort.

R: in sickness and in health

A: And forsaking all others

[They are taking turns at the vows?! Geeze – my hubby and I had to say all of them!]

[Livvie and Caleb – they are Caleb is putting a ring on Livvie’s hand]

C; with this ring – I claim you for eternity [what is it?! A hat-check ring?!!]

L: My husband. For eternity. [Now get that trash out]

C: [bites her wrist] [yes – I remember that part of the legal ceremony] [now Livvie bites his wrist][Sigh – this is SO romantic, I can’t help sighing and crying and just …… sorry – I can’t keep a straight recapper face I’m LMAO!!!]

[C&L: Slllllurrrrpppp!

[Back to the Turners: Rafe and Alison]

[He puts the ring on Alison’
s finger]

R: With this ring – a symbol of our PERFECT unbroken circle of love: I thee wed.

A: [puts ring on Rafe] with this ring, I thee wed.

Pastor Martha: I now pronounce you man and wife [you may now bite your bride? Nooo – I’m confusing the two weddings, I’m sure.] You may kiss the bride. [Smmoooooochh]

[Applause from the audience]

[Back to the Patio Of Doom]

Annette: [holds hands out – fingers splayed] By the fires of Hell[!] and the powers of Eternity, [and the Stare of New Jersey*] I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may now KISS the bride.

[I presume: The Jersey Devil, after all, is the State Bird]

[Caleb leans in to kiss Livvie –but she looks off in the distance and looks stunned …]

L: Caleb! What’s happening?!

C: You know that I love you….

L: Yes, I do.

C: That’s why I can’t begin this marriage holding in a secret…. You need to know the truth [the show has been cancelled]

L: what secret? What truth?

C: When I’m not with you I ache for you [or is it arthritis?] And I always will. Our beings are chained and united for all time and I have sworn never to let go.

L: Caleb…

C: But –you need to learn there are consequences for your actions and now – and now [he repeats] there’s a price to be paid …

L: I don’t understand – what actions? What price?

C: [holds up his hand with the stupid ring] when you took this ring…when you took my ring – you made a wish on it – [OMG! The old Batman TV show cameraman is there as the camera angle tills till we are diagonal to right side up] do you remember what that wish was, Olivia, word-for-word …..

[Back to the RALI Wedding…….but we still hear Caleb talking …][Rali are kissing, people [there, not at my house] are still applauding]

C: you wished for me to have one night of earth-shaking passion – a night of intense love I’d never forget ,,,,, [it wasn’t in tents –it was in a barn] and have all my wishes come true … well, your wish came true… I had a night of passion I never could have dreamed of ….. [The guests are hugging Rali now] I made love to Alison that night … [Livvie is crying – a lot]

L: no – it can’t be!

C: remember the rest of the wish you made, Olivia? A wish so strong in your heart that I heard it in mine…

[Heartbeat]

L: that was – that wish was meant for us …

C: But it was a wish you had no right to make… a wish that we’ll never, ever be able to forget.

L: no – Caleb – no t a baby! Please! It can’t be!

[Now we see Rafe carrying Alison [who – it seems [big surprise] is carrying a baby]

L: Alison is going to have your baby!

[Freeze on Alison and Rafe looking at each other]

In remembrance of Steven J. Hearns, 1958 -2003

And THAT - dear friends - is how TIIC decided to end this show.