How Alan and Sonny could become friends
From: firstname.lastname@example.org (Jami) Subject: How Alan and Sonny could become friends Date: 21 Sep 1996 18:10:00 How Alan and Sonny could become friends It's a foggy night in Port Charles. Having been summoned to the docks by a mysterious phone call, Sonny waits for his appointment. Suddenly, out of the shadows appears, Dr. Alan Quartermaine. As he approaches Sonny, Sonny sighs in exasperation. Alan: Good evening, Mr. Corinthos. How are you this evening? Sonny: Excuse me, Dr. Quartermaine, but I don't have time for idle chitchat. Alan: Yes, I know, you have a meeting. Sonny: You know? So, what, are you having me spied on now? Alan: No, it was I who summoned you here. Sonny: You? Great. What's all this cloak and dagger stuff just to get on my case about Jason? Or is this another pathetic attempt to try to steal Stone's memorial fund to prop up your dying hospital? Either way, I'm not interested. Alan: No, sir, it's neither of those things. I'm here because I need your help. And I'm willing to pay dearly to get it. Sonny: Now you're speaking my language. What's the problem? Alan: There is a situation that has arisen with my wife. Sonny: Hey, if you need a marriage counselor, I think you'd better call one of your doctor pals. You've already made it clear what a failure I was as a husband. Alan: I apologize for that thoughtless remark. I was very angry that day. Sonny: Let's cut to the chase here, shall we? I haven't got all night for this. Alan: My wife is having an affair. Sonny (cringing): Ouch! Alan: Well, I won't stand for it, I tell you, I will not stand for it. Not anymore. Sonny: Dr. Q, I know that's gotta burn. But I have to tell you -- I never thought your missus was the type. She just comes across as so -- I don't know -- like she's got a big bug up her -- Alan: Yes, Monica can seem uptight at times, I know that, but believe me -- she's a tramp. She always has been and she always will be. Sonny: You know, there's money to be made from that if you're willing -- Alan glares at him. Sonny (grinning that sheepish grin): Sorry. So who's the boy on the side? Alan: Pierce Dorman. And "boy" is probably the nicest thing you could say about him. Sonny: Dorman? That jerk? That pig who refused to do Stone's biopsy? Alan: That's the pig. Sonny: I have to tell you, I'm shocked. No offense, Alan, but your wife's a beautiful woman. If she wanted to step out on you, she could have found a lot of takers before she had to scrape the bottom of the barrel like that. Why, plenty of times Mike told me that he'd love to get into her -- Alan: That's great. I really needed to hear that. Sonny: Sorry. Just trying to keep things in perspective. Alan: I have a lot of perspective, believe me. That's one thing I do have. Sonny: So where do I fit in in all this? Alan: I want you to take them out for me. Sonny: What???? Alan: You heard me. I want them dead. Gone. Disposed of. Eliminated. Whatever you want to call it. I want you to do it. And I'll pay you handsomely for it. Sonny: You're blowing my mind. Alan: I'd do it myself, you know. I've killed before. But it was an accident. And the last time I tried to kill Monica and one of her lovers, I failed miserably. This time I want it done right. Sonny: Wait -- you've tried to kill her before? Alan: Yes, when AJ was a baby. She was having this disgusting affair with yet another doctor -- in fact she led me to believe that the man was AJ's natural father. So I decided to kill them. Sonny: I hate to ask this, but what happened? Alan: The first time, I arranged for the roof of the attic to fall on them, but too many people were suspicious. I had to save them. Sonny: You tried to kill them by dropping a roof on them? Are you nuts? Do you have any idea how hard something like that is to control? The timing, the placement? And what about incidentals? You don't want to wipe out anyone you don't have to. Alan: I know. That's why the next time I decided to be more direct. I decided to shoot them at point-blank range while they were in bed together. Sonny: You missed? Alan: No ... as I was climbing up the stairs of the cottage, an explosion went off, and I was knocked away. I never had the chance. Sonny: You were climbing up the stairs in broad daylight? Alan: Yes, it was early afternoon as I recall. Sonny: See, there's another mistake. You never want to do this kind of stuff in the daytime. Too many witnesses, you never know what's going to happen. Alan: That's why I came to you, Mr. Corinthos. You are the expert. I'd like you to take care of this job for me, and as I said before, I'll pay you handsomely for a job well done. Sonny: Of course we'll have to make it look like an accident ..... Alan: Whatever you think is best. But I do have one request -- I want them to suffer first. I want them to know they're about to die. Sonny (putting his arm around Alan and starting to walk him to Luke's): You're the client. We aim to please. They chuckle together. Alan: Let's talk about your fee. May I buy you a drink, Sonny? May I call you Sonny? Sonny: Only if I can call you Big Al. They laugh together and walk off. Fade to black!