Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Suspects, And Their Confessions, If Justus Is Murdered

10) Ryan Chamberlain -- "I'm baaaaccckkkk... and I thought
    I'd start with someone who is definitely not blonde.  I
    HATE being pigeonholed"
 9) Damian -- "We were laying the parking lot for CS
    Emporium and he jumped right in front of my steamroller"
 8) Keesha -- "He called me 'Little Bit' one too many times"
 7) Amy -- "He rejected my offer to bear him a child"
 6) Edward -- "All the trouble I have with grandkids... I
    just wanted to get rid of an extra one"
 5) Simone -- "It was self-defense.  He was boring me to
    death"
 4) A.J.  -- "Well, I get blamed for everything else.  Might
    as well take the rap for this too"
 3) The Writers -- "Justifiable character assassination"
 2) Tom -- "It was an accident.  I didn't mean to poison
    him, shoot him, stab him, strangle him, bludgeon him
    with a large santa-fe style vase and drop him off the
    ELQ Tower.  It could have happened to anyone"
And the number one suspect, and his confession, if Justus is
murdered:
 1) Sigmund -- "That DAMN snow-blower again!"

"I'd like you to put out an APB on a missing duck." -- Justus Ward, City Councilman