Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Reasons Simone And Justus Might Not Get Married

10) Simone turns out to be illegitmate Quartermaine off
    -spring.  Can't be legally married in New York State
 9) Justus turns out to be Newt Gingrich's illegitimate
    off-spring.  That's illegal in any state
 8) Christmas Day in PC lasts until New Year's Eve.  There
    is no inbetween in which to hold the wedding
 7) Simone so busy staring at Felicia and Tom together she
    forgets to say I do
 6) Rings lost in terrible bacon-fire accident
 5) The ghost of Bradley Ward appears to Justus and warns
    him that Simone is not the woman for him.
 4) Jessica Fletcher shows up at the wedding
 3) They invite Miguel to sing at their wedding.  Everyone
    sucked into big black hole of boredom
 2) Tommy threatens to hold his breath until his face turns
    blue... and so does Tom
And the number reason Simone and Justus Might Not Get
Married:
 1) Simone comes to her senses

"Hello, Bride," -- Justus
"Hello, Groom," -- Simone
"Hello, Fast Forward button." -- Us