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Mac Scorpio's Top Ten Macho Guidelines For the Christmas Season
10) Give everyone Outback placemats: real men don't shop 9) Go to forest, cut down pine tree.... with a butter knife 8) Put up Xmas lights that spell out "Bud Light" across the roof 7) Eat Christmas cookie dough... raw 6) Have shot gun ready when reindeer fly over 5) Drink egg nog out of a dirty glass 4) Put Christmas wreath on door, pound in nail... with your head 3) Take it like a man when you learn the news about Santa Claus 2) Open presents... don't save bows And Mac Scorpio's number one macho guideline for the Christmas season 1) No singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas", wearing elf costume, eating swiss cheese omelettes, drinking snooty french wine, watching "The Nutcracker" (that's a ballet), agreeing to help with the dinner dishes, admitting how much you hate football and letting Felicia carve the ham, unless she's really set on it.