Top Ten Lists

Top Ten Questions on a Kidnaping Quiz

10.You're taking your baby out for a stroll.  Do you... 
A) Have Grandma Maria watch it?
B) Resent it taking so much attention away from you?
C) Pick a new wall paper?
D) Ask "Hazelnut" to tag along?

9.Your baby has just been kidnaped.  Do you...
A) Suspect your latest stalker?
B) Go shopping?
C) Look under the couch?
D) Call the police?

8.Your distraught daughter calls to say your grandson has been 
kidnaped. Do you...
A) Call the WSB?
B) Tell her you're too busy to deal with it right now?
C) Rip into her at the first opportunity?
D) Be supportive.  Bring Cookies?

7.Your "son" has been kidnaped, and you're pretty sure it's that crazy
Doctor-guy.  Do you...
A) Question your crazy family?
B) Start a gang war?
C) Listen to your silly attorney and ignore your instincts?
D) Torture the Doctor till he tells all?

6.You want to help find your canopied great-grandson.  Do
you...
A) Start checking under the rest of the furniture
B) Plot to kidnap him yourself as soon as they find him
C) Offer five million dollars on TV and wait for the calls to roll in
D) Cooperate fully with the authorities

5.You've just discovered evidence that a suspect in a kidnaping
case is guilty. Do you ...
A) Inform the Canadian Mounties?
B) Dither like an idiot?
C) Keep it a secret.  Handle it yourself?
D) Inform the parents and local police?

4.You've been kidnaped by a mad Doctor.  Do you...
A) Stab him twelve times?
B) Ask him for sweet rolls?
C) Ask him politely if you can leave?
D) Wait until the Doctor's gone and construct a bomb out of window 
    Cleaner, baby formula and talcum powder?

3.You've just kidnaped your second person in as many weeks.  
Do you...
A) Think it might be becoming a bad habit?
B) Kidnap three more and have a basketball team or kidnap seven
    more and have a baseball team?
C) Have a birthday party?
D) Get out of town pronto?

2.You're a cop. There have been a rash of kidnapings in your 
city.  Do you...
A) Let Mac handle it?
B) Scratch your head and stand around looking gorgeous?
C) Let the local Mob boss handle it; follow him around?
D) Arrest psychoDoctor who just shaved his head?

And the number one question on the kidnaping quiz:
1) You're a member of the television audience watching yet
another baby kidnaping.  Do you...
A) Check and make sure your own kids are still there?
B) Switch to Days of Our Lives?
C) Argue over the details, like Quartermaines at stockholders meeting?
D) Write a stupid Quiz?

"Oh, no Michael is missing?" -- Dr. Tony Jones